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Log Friend!

Are you a lonely? No friends? Tired of one sided conversations with the local hostile wildlife?
Well, be sad and alone no more, with Log Friend!



What does Log Friend do, you may be asking? Well... what doesn't he do?

• Log Friend provides a watchful eye on you!
  
• Log Friend provides sanity, like a friend!
  
• Log Friend will never tell a lie and hurt you!
  
• Log Friend is low maintenance, unlike your lousy 'people' friends.
  
• Log Friend is always there for you, he's got your back. No need to fear.
  
• Log Friend is morally ambiguous, and will support your actions regardless of context.
  
• Log Friend LOVES playing hide and seek! You hide, and he seeks!
  
• Log Friend prefers open, non-enclosed areas. Spots near your valuables work best!
  
• Log Friend is WORTH so much more than your friends, and can be given to swine leaders for currency.

And SO much more! Promise!

If for any absurd, and frankly incomprehensible reason you wish for some alone time, you are to euthanize your Log Friend with a hammer. We do not recommend any other methods.



ArtsyVariations and co would like to remind you that Log Friend will never threaten to stab you and, in fact, cannot speak.
In any event that Log Friend does speak, we encourage you to disregard its advice.



I normally don't like to advertise stuff like this, but seeing as how times are getting tougher, I've decided to open a Ko-fi!
Any and all donations go right to me, no nonsense. This money will be put to affording dinner and keeping my work free, find it here!: https://ko-fi.com/variant