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SGS Scrotisserie Chicken

The year is 2022, only 38 years after 1984, which left us in shock. The world's smartest and richest person, the owner of Tesla, SpaceX, and The Boring Company, Mr. Beast, bought the entirety of Europa, and used the sound waves produced by the 10000 Honda Civic cars he bought with pennies to accelerate a recreation of the squid games fortnite building to the speed of light, safely landing on the surface of Europa, as he had covered the entire planet in bio-degradable styrofoam peanuts, with each one containing a TeamTrees™ modified tree sapling. Within exactly 24 hours, the rays of hypebeast toxicity immediately neutralized the entire planet's Jovian Radiation. Within five minutes of the colonists exiting the facility, the entire city of Detroit had been completely recreated, with every single ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ identical to the original. Exactly one year later, Mark Rober announced that he wanted to do a different charity project, and teamjizz was founded, forcing Mr. Beast to cut off all communication with Europa.

My crew and I have been trapped on this submarine for eons, but it looks like it’s finally beginning to die. Today I saw the walls drip the characteristic orange blood that all submarines have, and the sub’s screams sounded much weaker. Soon we will be able to chew our way through the outer hull and escape into the blackness of the endless Primordial Sea.

You have been sent with an Attack class submarine, equipped with obscene amounts of methamphetamine, multiple neurotoxins, no actual useful medicine, a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ "boarding grenade launcher", and the power supply taken directly from a Galaxy Note 7 for the junction box of the entire ship. The reactor is a dishwasher, the terminal is running on Windows 11, the sonar uses Blackberry Legacy software, and your mother is a ♥♥♥♥♥.