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I will take note of the 'five paragrpah order' and make adjustments.
As far as the Kamino objective is concerned, I will make it feel more alive and feel more decorated. Thanks for the input.
I tested this mission alone, locally hosted. The AI squadmates did not paradrop with me, but crashed with the plane. They then repeatedly respawned on top of buildings (because I respawned on top of same building). This meant that they were completely useless throughout the mission.
In the briefing, you seemed to be repeating text in the "situation" and "execution" parts of the brief. One way of separating the two is that the Situation answers the WHY a mission is taking place, and WHY it is designed in this way. The Execution is the HOW it will take place, either step by step or summarized.
Wikipedia actually has an article explaining how the modern briefing system works: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Five_paragraph_order