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Honk Assets

blud wrote an essay

All the people here who downloaded this honk themed poster pack to admire its stunning art have precisely the wrong mindset. I, in my exalted wisdom and unbridled ambition, downloaded this mod to become fully accustomed to the beauty of the honk mother, to make her follower’s ideas bearable and in fact normal to me, so that all the world around me may fade into a fluffy arena of inadequate posters. And it has worked, to profound success. I have kept this mod in all my campaigns, have grown attached to the artistic purity that comes with each poster, its desire to elevate you to a higher plane of existence. This mod has become so normal to me that playing the base game feels like playing an incomplete game, or a shitty knockoff. Those red nosed clowns who honk their horns now seem to me as little children who appreciate crayon drawings.

I can hardly remember the days before I became a man of honk. How distant those days seem now, how burdened by the apparent artistry of lesser works. I laugh at the philistines who still operate in a world devoid of the Honk Masons, their experience little and unempowered by the experience of being a mason. Ha, what fools, blissful in their ignorance, anesthetized by their lack of meaningful struggle, devoid of passion.

Nietzsche once said that a man who has a why can bear almost any how. But a man who has a golden bike horn can bear any mudraptor, and all this talk of why and how becomes unnecessary.

Schopenhauer once said that every man takes the limits of his own field of vision for the limits of the world. Honk Assets expands the limits of a man’s field of vision by showing him an example of refinement, in comparison to which the everyday objects to which he was formerly accustomed gain a tarnished and inadequate quality. Who can lament the tragedy of life, when surrounded by such deficient objects? Who can cry in a world of jesters and clowns?

Have you yet understood? This is no ordinary mod. In this mod is the artistic potential to transform your world, by transforming your expectations. Those who have not yet experienced the mod with their hands, eyes, ears, and mouths will not understand, for they still live in a world of simple clowns, like Plato’s cave dwellers. Those who have opened their mind to the elegance of honk will shift their expectations of clowns and the honk mother accordingly.

To give this mod a rating of anything less than five stars would be to condemn life itself. Who am I, as a mere mortal, to judge the most comedic of all downloadable content? No. I say gratefully to whichever grand being may have created this mod: good job on the Honk Assets pack. It sure is funny.

I sit here with the Honk Assets mod, transcendent above death itself. For insofar as this mod will last forever, I am in the presence of immortality.

this pack honked my mason

this pack cured my marriage