Subscribe to download
Uncle Sheogorath's Wheel'O Cheese Emporium

[Description]
Welcome boys and girls to Uncle Sheogorath's Wheel'O Cheese Emporium! Please take the time to sample our fine assortment of imported cheeses and various entrails. Whats that? You don't live on the Shivering Isles!? That’s no problem at all, just visit your local Sheogorath Inc. Representative (now with stalls in every major city and Riverwood! Invisible chairs not for sale) hand them your pre-scribed letter of approval from Stanly the talking grapefruit of Passwell on the back of an argonian concubine and your first disemboweling is totally free! They have also been known to accept more mundane things like gold or a scratch behind the ears... just as long as they fill their argonian quotas! WARNING: Do not call Namtac a 'milk drinker' as he takes that very personaly.
EXCLUSIVE OFFER: Now for an unlimited time only you too can own a spectacular Staff of Incredible Cheese! Hours of entertainment as you cast a magical spell on your friends turning them into solid cheese! Watch and be amazed as they ferment in the sun, or feed them to a lesser peon and let the never ending fun ensue! (WARNING: this device has been known to do amazing things, turning people into cheese isn't one of them. However you should still use this staff on your friends.... or I'll find you)
NEW: Oh ho ho, I think you're going to enjoy this one, threw this together meself! Yup I was up all last night just chucking any obscure thing I could find into the fermentation vats down on the factory floor, tin cans, rubber ducks, my employees bathroom, several of my employees, calipers, you know... the usual stuff. My marketing representative said I couldn’t sell this on the open market and stay in business... so I threw him in there as well and replaced him with one of those fluffy goats you nords are so fond of, and HE gave the project a go ahead. So without further unnecessary legal interruptions I'm releasing my newest monst- uh I mean, creations, yeah that’s it creations, to the public, and I do hope you enjoy... (hehe suckers, they have no idea what’s really in those thi-....hey, is this thing still on? DAMN IT HASKILL I TOL- *static*)
MEGA OPENING SALE: So, some poeple may have noticed how a few of their favorite shop keeps have been under assault from an unknown group of assailents and I can assure you that I only wanted to WIPE THEIR SMUG FACES OFF THE SURFACE OF NIRN AND USE THEIR SOULS TO WIPE MY BOTTOM! *ahem* Anyway, Sheogorath Incorporated has expanded to all corners of Skyrim to in an attempt to fill the market with compelling products and excellent service... *maniacal laughter* nope, couldn't do that with a straight face. But really, now you can find a representative in any of the major holds in this fair, cold, cold, very cold land... execpt Markarth because I lost my favorite pet there, Mr. Fluffytusks. How was I supposed to know you normies eat horker? Disgusting!

[Acknowledgements]
All glory goes to Sheogorath. But really this was all stabbykitteh's idea, I just implemented it so that everyone can enjoy her brand of psycopathia :D

[Change Log]
1.555 Trollolols have been nerfed because the whining of subscribers was distracting me from my cheese

1.55 Trollolol King is lurking somewhere in the deep, a "fortune" awaits those who vanquish the beast

1.50 Nation-wide stalls now open! (except Markarth, because F*** Markarth)

1.40 Unleash the Trollolols!

1.30 Namtac now has his very own stall in Riverwood. Added more special cheese. (the fire cloak spell for the one dosn't have a visual but it's still there... it's still there)

1.20 Imports more special cheese directly from Sheogorath Inc. (Limburger & Roquefort)

1.10 Now sells the powerfull Staff of Incredible Cheese!

1.00 Relapse