Mark: Hello everybody, my name is Markiplier and welcome to Five Nights at Freddy's, an indie horror game that you guys suggested, in masse, and I saw that Yamimash played it and he said it was really really good... So I'm very eager to see what is up. And that is a terrifying animatronic bear! 'Family pizzeria looking for security guard to work the nightshift.' Oh... 12 a.m. The first night. If I didn't wanna stay the first night, why would I stay any more than... five... Why I stay any more than two- hello? Okay...

Phone rings

Mark: Hello?... Hello? Oh, oh I can't move. That is a creepy skull, there's creepy things on the wall. Oh, hello.

Phone Guy: Hello?

Mark: Hi!

Phone Guy: Hello, hello?

Mark: HI!

Phone Guy: Uh, I wanted to record a message for you to help you get settled in on your first night.

Mark: Ugh...

Phone Guy: Um, I actually worked in that office before you.

Mark: Ah...

Phone Guy: I'm finishing up my last week now, as a matter of fact.

Mark: Hm?

Phone Guy: So, I know it can be a bit overwhelming...

Mark: Ugh! U-hu-hu...

Phone Guy: ...but I'm here to tell you there's nothing to worry about.

Mark: Eh...

Phone Guy: Uh, you'll do fine. So, let's just focus on getting you through your first week.

Mark: Okay, sounds g- Okay...

Phone Guy: Okay? Uh, let's see, first there's an introductory greeting from the company that I'm supposed to read.

Mark: Mm-hm.

Phone Guy: Uh, it's kind of a legal thing, you know. Um, "Welcome to Freddy Fazbear's Pizza.

Mark: Okay.

Phone Guy: A magical place for kids and grown-ups alike...

Mark: (Scared laughing)

Phone Guy: where fantasy and fun come to life.

Mark: Ughuh!

Phone Guy: Fazbear Entertainment is not responsible for damage to property or person. Upon discovering that damage or death has occurred, a missing person report will be filed within 90 days, or as soon property and premises have been thoroughly cleaned and bleached, and the carpets have been replaced.

Mark: (panicking)

Phone Guy: Blah blah blah, now that might sound bad, I know...

Mark: Yeah!

Phone Guy: ...but there's really nothing to worry about. Uh, the animatronic characters here do get a bit quirky at night, but do I blame them? No.

Mark: (Scared laughing)

Phone Guy: If I were forced to sing those same stupid songs for twenty years and I never got a bath? I'd probably be a bit irritable at night too.