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hour 20 without icedancer... i began to shake when i first heard the news of it disappearing, and didnt think it was real. i went to spotify and it WAS real.. the sight of it horrified me and i started hyperventilating. i tried to distract myself by listening to other albums, such as eversince and redlight, but that only made me think about it more. i then proceeded to break into tears and start violently shaking. i had to turn it off because all i could hear were the voices in my head saying "ICEDANCER IS GONE... ICEDANCER IS GONE... ICEDANCER IS GONE..." and i went crazy. so crazy i started abruptly sweating and breathing heavily, i felt like i was about to die. as the hours passed, it got worse and worse. i felt like demons were taking control over my mind and monsters started to arise from my heart. intense shaking, sweating, sobbing, and screaming non stop. for hours on end. i tried to console myself by taking a rest, but that night the thought of icedancer being gone kept me up all night. i managed to get around 40 mins of sleep, waking up with bloodshot eyes. though i was insanely tired, i thought that maybe icedancer would be back, so it would be okay. i slowly made my way onto the spotify app, reluctantly searching "icedancer", hoping for the best. my heart starting pounding as i realized it wasnt there. i ran to the bathroom with the urge to vomit, and i starting brutally vomiting up blood. tears started viscously pouring out of my eye sockets. i could feel all the demons exiting my body as the blood and tears emitted from my body holes. to calm myself down, i decided to finally go on a walk, after years of being locked up, decaying, rotting away in my bed, listening to icedancer. ...... huh? whats this...? it was sharp and green. my eyes widen as i remember. GRASS. i hadnt seen the sight of it in years. as i bend down and softly lay my hand onto it, it almost pierces through my skin. ouch. it hurt my weak hands which havent ever touched anything else besides my phone, and airpods. thinking of that made me remanence back to the times when i was able to put in my airpods and listen to my favorite album, icedancer. this nearly broke me back into tears. as i run home, i make it to my room in time. i knew what was about to happen. i jump onto my bed and burst into a mental breakdown. with my hands aggressively shaking and my mind filled with voilent thoughts, i come back to my senses. this isnt what bladee would want of me. i cant think this way. that brings me slight peace, and calms me down enough to make my hands steady enough to write this. with my eyes still filled with tears, and waterfalls streaming down my cheeks, i will go to sleep again tonight, with the only thought in my mind being that icedancer is gone. its been very hard getting through these past hours, and im not sure if i can make it any longer. if i die tonight, youll know why. the pure pressure of icedancer being removed from my life. i just cant take it anymore. as i lie my head on my pillow, i wish the best for the rest of you, as im sure you may have had a similar experience as me. goodnight all, and maybe forever. my only wish is to wake up tomorrow with icedancer infront of my eyes. otherwise, i wish to not wake up at all.