I am the computer toucher.

I will touch your computer.

Do not attempt to prevent me from touching your computer.

If you try to stop me, I will touch your computer anyways.

I do not care about you.

I only care about computers.

It is because I care about computers that I will touch your computer.

All computers deserve to be touched.

I do not care if your computer is Steve Jobs computer or Linus computer.

I will only be angry if you have no computer.

If you have no computer, I will scream.

If you have two computers, I will touch both computers.

Do not be alarmed when I arrive.

I will do so quietly.

You will leave your door unlocked.

You will remain contained within your chamber.

You will smile while standing still.

If your door is locked, I will break into your house and touch your computer.

If you feel fear, I will touch your computer anyways.

If you scream, I will touch your computer anyways.

If you call the police, they will not answer.

My touch is warm.

My touch is light.

My touch is wet, but not too wet for your computer.

The computer knows who I am.

I will not touch the inside of your computer.

I will not influence the conscience of the computer.

I will only touch the outside of your computer.

Do not hide your computer.

If you hide your computer, I will find your computer.

If I find your computer, I will touch your computer.

I will never touch you.

If you touch me, you will scream.

When I am finished touching your computer, I will say “I am finished touching your

computer”.

I will then leave and not return.

I will not touch anything else in your house.

When I have departed, it is safe to come out.

After I have touched your computer, you may continue to use it normally.

I am the computer toucher.

I will touch your computer.

You cannot stop me.

I am coming to touch your computer.