Coup D'état (Succeeded)
Destruction of earth (Attempted)
Destroying the ozone layer (About 60% away from succeeding)
Selling his enemies on ebay (Attempted)
Consuming concerning amounts of enriched uranium 235 (Ongoing)
Being evil (Ongoing)
Being the CEO of SIF (Ongoing)
Creating a superweapon (Succeeded)
Threatening people with the superweapon (Ongoing)
Taking over the solar system (attempted and failed)
Sneaking ICBM launchers in the solar system behind enemy lines (Not proven but probably true)
Speaking french (Ongoing)
Shaving people's pets bald (Succeeded and possibly ongoing)
Escaping oblivion and a wormhole prison twice (Succeeded)
Catching florida man (Succeeded)
Betraying certain allies (Succeeded)

War crimes (Succeeded and Ongoing)