Recent reviews by pingu

>join server
>run around for like 2 minutes
>maybe get a kill on the sweats who have been playing non-stop since the beta
>You Have been Kicked by PunkBuster

please kill me

Don't let steam fool you, I easily have 50+ hours in this game as of writing, maybe more.

The reason? I initially pirated this game, but ended up enjoying it so much that i bought it and 3 other copies for my friends. If that doesn't tell you it's worth buying I don't know what will.

don't bother playing unless it's in local mode and you have friends, the servers are complete ass and if you do manage to actually get into a game half the time your opponent just disconnects

how to have fun in 4 easy steps

step 1: finish the tutorial

step 2: start a single player skirmish game

step 3: begin playing artilijeria

step 4: MORTAR SPAM

>start a new run with my favorite ship
>find some weapons that perfectly compliment it
>steamroll through the entire game, hitting every beacon possible, and have all the essential systems maxed out
>get to the last stand with everything i could possibly need to succeed, hitting almost every repair beacon and get to the flagship with full health
>the flagship sends a hacking drone to my weapons systems and i need to retreat after losing like 90% of my hp
>beat the first phase on 5 hp and die almost instantly once the first power surge hits
>lose like an hour of progress at the last possible moment

this game is great.

The best part is brainstorming new and horrific ways to murder the innocent humans. My favorite methods are electric chair and guillotine, but the classic gun and explosion work just as well.

so im doing a mission with an ace who is destroying my crew, and my pilot goes down, but that's not too bad because he was healing on the bed and i had my pilot trained engi at the controls, so i go and grab my medic radio operator to heal him and gets knocked out so i use my navi and he dies too, so now im scrambling to get my belly gunner to help them and he's in the bulkiest gear possible and he finally waddles his ass over there and heals my navigator and then the navigator heals the radio operator.

But now we have a problem. there's 5 people on top of the only medkit in the plane which i need to heal my pilot and he is 10 seconds away from dying.
so i have to go into slow time and meticulously pick out the medkit which is clipping inbetween everyone and heal my pilot with 4 seconds left on the clock.

we make it back across the english channel and im thinking we're safe. so i kick back and relax and once i mark the runway and lower gear i get everyone back to their stations, including the belly gunner.

now i have to do something in real life so i get up and do that, but when i come back the plane is destroyed and my belly gunner is dead. not even sure what i did wrong tbh

10/10 would recommend

first match i died immediately, 2nd match my teammates won all my fights for me and then we sat around doing nothing for 20 minutes then i got into a fight and died immediately

entered the gungeon playing as a bullet, then opened a chest which contains bullets that instead of just killing bullets using bullets, the bullets had a chance to kill bullets that were fired by bullets using the bullets that were fired by the bullet i was playing as, before fighting 2 massive bullets which i killed using my bullets.

now im not a furry but free porn is free porn


edit: nevermind, i am a furry