I find your lack of faith in Israel disturbing

HOLY ♥♥♥♥. OIL.

I WAS WALKING TO THE STORE. MINDING MY BUSINESS. THEN I SEE IT. A SHIMMERING PATCH ON THE PAVEMENT. I KNEEL DOWN. I TOUCH IT. IT’S OIL.

I LOST MY ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ MIND. I STARTED SCREAMING. “OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ♥♥♥♥ IT’S OIL!” PEOPLE TURNED AROUND. CARS STOPPED. SOME GUY RIPPED OFF HIS SHIRT AND STARTED CRYING INTO AN AMERICAN FLAG.

ONE MAN PULLED OUT A GUITAR AND STARTED PLAYING THE NATIONAL ANTHEM FROM PURE INSTINCT. ANOTHER GUY THREW A BURGER IN THE AIR AND IT JUST STAYED THERE.

I STARTED PUNCHING THE SIDEWALK OUT OF PATRIOTIC RAGE. MY EYES TURNED RED, WHITE, AND BLUE. I DON’T EVEN DRIVE BUT I BOUGHT A TRUCK INSTANTLY.

I ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ LOVE OIL. I WOULD DIE FOR OIL. I WOULD FIGHT IN THE TRENCHES FOR THAT SWEET, BLACK, FREEDOM-LOVING BASTARD JUICE.

AMERICA IS OIL. OIL IS GOD.

AFQ:
Away from Qboard

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Jack Black donating some of his Jack White to the local sperm bank by Jacking off and eJackulating

she suсkеd me off through the iphone call that a steve job