Happy New Year
I pray that you get lots and Lots of happiness, Love and Health
Fill your Next 365 Pages with Amazing Memories

My perfect Valentine’s day? I’m at home, three cell phones in front of me, fielding desperate calls from people who want to buy one of the fifty restaurant reservations I made over six months ago.

Under my beet farm, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Schrutes.

I like Tom. He doesn’t do a lot of work around here. He shows zero imitative. He’s not a team player. He’s never wanted to go that extra mile. Tom is exactly what I’m looking for in a government employee.

IF THERE IS ANYTHING ON THIS PLANET EARTH THAT PISSES ME OFF MORE THAN ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ANYTHING, ITS PAPER STRAWS WITH AN ACCORDIAN NECK. WHOS BRIGHT ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ IDEA WAS IT TO THINK THAT PAPER STRAWS CAN BEND?? ARE YOU ACTUALLY SO ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ STUPID THAT YOU THINK A THICK ASS STRAW MADE FROM PAPER WILL BEND LIKE A PLASTIC STRAW? THE ANSWER IS NO YOU ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ IDIOT, PAPER DOESNT BEND, PAPER FOLDS, AND IF YOU BEND THESE ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ TOO FAR? UH OH LOOKS LIKE IT RIPPED, BECAUSE ITS PAPER AND IT ISNT EXACTLY THE BEST MATERIAL IN THE WORLD TO DRINK LIQUIDS FROM.

hey. who do you think is smarter? Donald Trump or Me ? my guess is me because i am not stupid enough to have children.