#trolling

I currently hold the world record for the largest ♥♥♥♥ ever taken, let me tell you my story. I was at my grandmother's house and she was feeding me with what she claimed to be tropical fruit cake. I took a bite and BASTARD, it was actually scrambled egg with pineapple juice! I bolted to the nearest toilet and locked the door behind me, I sat down and instantly felt the pain inside my bowels. I sat there squeezing for over half an hour before the first piece of ♥♥♥♥ came out, it was 5 meters long and 35 centimetres in diameter. But it didn't stop there, the scrambled egg was multiplying inside me, and the biggest ♥♥♥♥ was yet to come. Close to two hours later, I took the biggest ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥ you've never seen in your life, it was 20x the size of a blue whale's penis, that's 15,000,000x bigger than your penis will ever be! It's been 54 years since that day and my anus is still in recovery. Thankyou for listening.