if your reading this. why? looking for advice? wanting to know something? well. here's the best bit of advice i will give for free. don't trust anyone. they only Want you when you can provide a benefit to them. start focusing on yourself more then you do others and you'll start noticing people say "oh hes cold" or "oh they don't care" screw 'em. if people want to paint you as the monster but forget in which chapter of the story you became such a thing. they obviously didn't care when they created you.