I must be sitting on the F5 key, because my ass is refreshing.

utinni sidewhack

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a hungry crow fixed his eyes on a nearby tree limb. he flitted from branch to branch in the shadows of the canopy, circling over closer to his target.

"when I catch that tasty beetle," thought the crow to himself, "what shall I eat first? the head? the legs? shall I peck out his belly? or will I eat him whole?"

when the time was right, the crow made his move. the beetle munched on some detritus when before him appeared a great black shadow, a demon of the skies. in a whirl of terror and sound, the crow landed. a pair of massive, hooked talons crashed into the tree bark, and a pair of great black eyes peered downward.

"tiny beetle!" squawked the crow. "i have been watching you!"

"i bet you have, gay boy." replied the beetle.