Meet John, an above average player who wins most of his games and often contributes the most to the team's victory. Now, meet Ricardo, who only picks hard carries, feeds and communicates with his team through sentences containing "♥♥♥♥" and "your mom"; and Shlomo, who has zero skill but likes buying and trading shiny hats.

Ricardo and Shlomo are tired of losing all their games and might quit. In order to prevent Ricardo and Shlomo from quitting, John is forced to try and carry them. John, with great distress and disgust, manages to carry Ricardo and Shlomo so that they would stick around and give Valve their shekels. That's the secret algorithm, folks.

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