szymix's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 10 Apr, 2015 @ 7:11am

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 11 Apr, 2015 @ 6:22am

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 10 Apr, 2015 @ 7:28am

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 2 May, 2017 @ 7:24am

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 7 Apr, 2015 @ 8:25am

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 7 Apr, 2015 @ 8:23am

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 13 Jun, 2015 @ 3:39am

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 15 Jun, 2015 @ 9:49am

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 20 Jun, 2015 @ 9:49am

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 25 May, 2017 @ 4:04am

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 26 May, 2017 @ 1:04am

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

Unlocked 4 May, 2017 @ 12:06pm

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 10 Apr, 2015 @ 7:16am

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 25 Apr, 2015 @ 7:25am

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

Unlocked 4 May, 2017 @ 9:34am

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 15 Nov, 2015 @ 9:03am

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked 2 Jun, 2017 @ 4:05am

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

Unlocked 4 May, 2017 @ 9:38am

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 26 May, 2017 @ 12:28pm

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Unlocked 4 May, 2017 @ 9:47am

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 15 Nov, 2015 @ 9:58am

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked 24 Apr, 2015 @ 9:47am

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 13 Jun, 2015 @ 3:36am

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 10 Apr, 2015 @ 6:55am

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 4 May, 2017 @ 9:17am

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 22 Apr, 2015 @ 11:04am

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 13 Jun, 2015 @ 7:10am

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Unlocked 15 Nov, 2015 @ 10:19am

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 12 May, 2017 @ 10:47am

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 20 Jun, 2015 @ 3:54am

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 4 May, 2017 @ 9:19am

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 10 Apr, 2015 @ 7:28am

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 20 Jun, 2015 @ 9:47am

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 6 Apr, 2015 @ 9:45am

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked 13 Jun, 2015 @ 6:39am

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked 25 May, 2017 @ 3:38am

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 30 May, 2018 @ 7:41am

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked 4 May, 2017 @ 9:14am

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Unlocked 27 May, 2017 @ 2:23am

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 6 Apr, 2015 @ 9:23am

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 10 Apr, 2015 @ 6:39am

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked 26 May, 2017 @ 11:24am

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 6 Apr, 2015 @ 9:11am

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 10 Apr, 2015 @ 6:47am

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 10 Jun, 2015 @ 8:02am

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 10 Apr, 2015 @ 6:33am

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 2 May, 2017 @ 7:31am

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Unlocked 5 May, 2017 @ 7:23am

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Unlocked 20 Jun, 2015 @ 3:54am

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 20 Jun, 2015 @ 4:59am

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 6 Apr, 2015 @ 9:48am

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Unlocked 4 May, 2017 @ 9:39am

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked 4 May, 2017 @ 9:30am

SCREW that game!

Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.

Unlocked 27 May, 2017 @ 10:31am

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.

Unlocked 27 May, 2017 @ 11:04am

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 10 Apr, 2015 @ 6:36am

You are not alone

Observed an NPC going POSTAL!

Unlocked 25 Apr, 2015 @ 11:26am

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 27 May, 2017 @ 1:31pm

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 4 May, 2017 @ 9:15am

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked 4 May, 2017 @ 9:53am

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

29 / 30

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

0 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

0 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

0 / 30