Hey, Im seriously gonna report you to the government, so can you like please stop stalking me, that would be nice. Also can you please stop telling me to rub ranch all over your back....it makes me very uncomfortable. Well I hope you take this message serious...bye

Many people have asked me, how do you do it Vladimir? How do you achieve hands-free ejaculation and perfect it to the point of folding your semen over a thousand times in order to become so good at playing videogames and watching anime? The answer, like all of you must've heard it over those thousand times by now, is in fact quite not so simple. First you have to really train your prostate and think of it as an extension of your chakra and soul. In order to do so you may need various equipment to help you really activate your autism and enter a what I like to call an "Erratic Sage Mode of Ultimate Semen". Only then will you truly understand the desperation of Hitler during his most strained moments of life