HT/WT : 6' 9'', 250 lbs

DOB : 12/30/2009 (12)

Status : Active

Experience : 1st Season

LeJron Bames has never played basketball before, he promises.


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I’m a professional Basketball player. I show up to the middle school down the street. "These ♥♥♥♥♥♥ plebs have no idea what's coming," I say to myself. I don my best wig. It fits just right. "LMAO these little ♥♥♥♥♥ have no clue. I'm ♥♥♥♥♥♥ invisible to the system." XD i whisper, xd. I make my way to the court. I know no one is going to check. "ROFL these little turd baskets still haven't figured it out." I’m literally jumping over people 360 windmill dunking. "They don't stand a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ chance," I say, fully erect. Game is over before the opponents reach 6 points; I'm just that ♥♥♥♥♥♥ good. As we shake hands and exchange gg's, I overhear a little ♥♥♥♥♥ complaining something along the lines of, "this isn't fair, even a blind dead cat could tell that's Lebron James. Why does this game count? Why do my stats count?? His wig looks like ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥." I yell over to him, "Get good you little ♥♥♥♥♥! Or maybe smurf down at the YMCA across the street if you wanna win!" LMAO. Another successful win, another successful smurf. "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ feels good today. Thank god Basketball switched to Valve's system. Thank god." I make my way to the next middle school. Today is going to be a phenomenal day.