22
Products
reviewed
299
Products
in account

Recent reviews by Schlong Donger

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Showing 1-10 of 22 entries
4 people found this review helpful
209.8 hrs on record
Early Access Review
Combat is great and mechanically all the classes work.
There is no meaningful matchmaking. Good loot is locked behind a global timer or just using cheats. This game is infested with exploiters and cheaters in Classic to the point of it being unplayable. Wallhacks are common even in Casual and there's seemingly no real bans being dealt out. Anyone with eyes that spectate can see this. The devs are balancing around one of the silliest metrics of "extraction rate" leaving them deaf to all other data in a match. Class match-ups have little variety in outcome and most teamfights are steamrolls for one side. The game is really fun when; there isnt a cheater, you arent up against a full legendary set-team, or you don't get screwed by matchmaking/spawn points. This game is objectively better than Shart and Sharter but in its current state there's little reason to play the game for unbalanced teamfights or kill bosses for that sweet 0% legendary drop chance.
Posted 22 August, 2024.
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1 person found this review helpful
393.9 hrs on record (119.4 hrs at review time)
Early Access Review
Love this game so far, can't get enough. Fun gameplay, great concepts, and i'd even recommend, but crashes a third of the time even with excessive memory available (32g) and no other programs running and yet still throws "memory issues" after verifying files and lowering graphics. Even with multiple re-installs. I have faith this will get fixed but i cant recommend anyone picking this up until its gotten some balancing changes and stability updates. Most guns arent worth their weight and combat comes down to who lands 2 headshots first or at least whatever the game decides is 2 headshots since damage seems to be all over the place. Armor has very little effect, Lv10 armor might on a cloudy day on a leap year during the eclipse save you from 1 extra bullet from a 9mm. The shops and maps being left up to random chance seems a little meaningless and more annoying than anything else. You could easily remedy the problem by having players pay an amount of cash to travel to a specific map or event so its not just grind until rng decides youre allowed to attempt it. Apparently you are also able to shoot yourself if your gun is even a little stuffed/off to the side. This is beyond silly, come on now. Aiming down sights does not work 50% of the time even out of combat holding the button down, camera jumps, and soft lock vault-spots, vault spots that only half work, inventory items duplicating and deleting themselves, ships stashes not working, and a myriad of other technical issues the game is really in a rough state right now.
Even when hitting targets damage seems completely random regardless of gun/armor/ammo. In one raid I can one tap a dude in full lv 10 helm and panzer armor with one shot from an SVT yet in another raid I cant even kill a guy with an entire clip from an SVT. Bloodstains all over the wall confirming my hits, im just kinda left wondering what the heck damage even is in this game. After my partner finished him, turned out the guy was wearing a LV6 undamaged leather jerkin and a SAS cap... Sometimes fights just dont make sense, whether you win or loose its always kinda just "well I got lucky this time guess I'll leave" or "dang unlucky, guess I'll try for good luck again"
Ships have little to no advantage between types. At the end of the day it doesnt matter if you drive a rust bucket or a capital frigate, both are equally boarded. Ships are also becoming more buggy with guns not loading in, not being able to board certain ships, ship stashes disappearing, and extracting not working with the game just killing you instead of leaving.
This game is gonna need to move forward and has a lot of work to become a complete product, I just hope the developers keep fun in mind as they continue down the road (unlike the people that make tarkov).
Really eager to see how this game develops and keeping hopes high, its just a little buggy for now so i'd say wait or just go play a game that works out the box.
Posted 19 October, 2022. Last edited 22 July, 2023.
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1 person found this review helpful
1 person found this review funny
208.2 hrs on record (157.8 hrs at review time)
Fantastic game with continual updates that never fails to impress. Plenty of content/characters/guns and many hours of great times with friends. Great difficulty and honestly one of my recent favorite games to play.

BIRD UP
Posted 26 November, 2020. Last edited 17 November, 2021.
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A developer has responded on 26 Nov, 2020 @ 7:48pm (view response)
No one has rated this review as helpful yet
3.4 hrs on record (0.5 hrs at review time)
Doesnt work
Posted 13 November, 2019.
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1 person found this review helpful
31.5 hrs on record (5.8 hrs at review time)
AVOID
Save file corruption and empty game completely punishes players for trying to enjoy themselves. Not worth even close to ten bucks at this point. Has real potential but as of right now has no redeeming factors. Avoid until its functional and has some game play value beyond collect ♥♥♥♥ and shoot the same 3 robots.

Edit : The save file backup failed again and this was after another 20 hours of playtime or so. Game is a broken scam.
Posted 12 November, 2019. Last edited 5 June, 2020.
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No one has rated this review as helpful yet
1 person found this review funny
83.8 hrs on record (23.6 hrs at review time)
10/10 would break my jaw again
Posted 24 October, 2018.
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No one has rated this review as helpful yet
1 person found this review funny
73.2 hrs on record (30.1 hrs at review time)
Gud
Posted 12 September, 2018. Last edited 12 September, 2018.
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No one has rated this review as helpful yet
2 people found this review funny
451.2 hrs on record (421.6 hrs at review time)
You will be missed... you broken piece of garbage. We'll never forget you.
Posted 10 July, 2018.
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No one has rated this review as helpful yet
158.9 hrs on record (22.2 hrs at review time)
Early Access Review
Tons of fun. If you like rouge likes with replayability with some interesting AI and fun mutators mixed with periodic zombie invasions and explosions, then this is a game for you.

Can't stop playing, its really good. Its got co-op as well, thats always a plus.


I cannot wait for more updates on this game.
Posted 25 November, 2017.
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No one has rated this review as helpful yet
8.1 hrs on record
A game made for people that are into the souls series pvp or for honor game and need something to dive into. Fun and challenging, though only for those familiar with the type of game this is. A few hours and you will know if you like this game or not, regardless of what reviews say. Thats just the kind of game this is.

Online lag or just unavalibility all together are just ruining this game for me so far. This is (i hope) a temporary problem that will soon be fixed.

Though I do not recomend, I do suggest to keep an eye on this game for when online is fixed, updates occur, and rebalances are established as happens in most online fighting games. Hope to see this get better.
Posted 30 August, 2017. Last edited 31 August, 2017.
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Showing 1-10 of 22 entries