Sometimes the fart air lingers between my cheeks for a little too long and I fear I've crapped myself.






















Sometimes, whenever I eat M&Ms, I like to hold two m&m's in between my fingers and squeeze as hard as I can until one m&m cracks. I eat the cracked one, and the one that didn't crack becomes the champion. Then I grab the other m&m, and force it to compete with the champion in this deadly game of m&m gladiators. I do this until I run out of m&m's, and when there is only one m&m left standing, I send a letter to m&m's brand with the champion m&m in it with a note attached that reads: "Please use this m&m for breeding purposes."