Oh, potatoes and molasses
If you want some, oh, just ask us
They're warm and soft like puppies and socks
Filled with cream and candy rocks

Oh, potatoes and molasses
They're so much sweeter than algebra class
If your stomach is grumblin' and your mouth starts mumblin'
There's only one thing to keep your brain from crumblin'
[Verse 3: Greg]
Oh, potatoes and molasses
If you can't see 'em, put on your glasses
They're shiny and large like a fisherman's barge
You know you've eaten enough when you start seein' stars

Oh, potatoes and molasses
It's the only thing left on your task list
They're short and stout, they make everyone shout
For potatoes and molasses
For potatoes and—

That's enough!