My name is Jafar
I come from afar
I like stabbing kuffar
Allahu Akbar

One time I met Stefan Struve at Publix. I said, "Hey, are you Stefan Struve, by chance?" He said he was, then smiled real big, got out a pen, and asked for my name. "No, no," I said, "I don't want an autograph, I was hoping you could help me with that," and I pointed to a box of my favorite cereal, Grape Nuts Flakes, which they were out of except for a couple boxes on the top shelf. In response, Struve glared and walked away from me.

He won't even use his reach to help out a homie at the grocery store. :(

"A fugitive turns into a demon then a sad clown and finally becomes a man again."

This guy I was in the service with reached down into his pants one summer day while we were smoking. When he brought his hand out several fingers have a gooey white substance. I said “what the ♥♥♥♥ is that!?!” He replied “You have never seen fromundah cheese before?” As he shoves his fingers into his mouth and sucks them clean as if just finishing delicious BBQ.

Khabib: ....breathes

Conor: SHOT YO ♥♥♥♥♥♥ MOUT

I wanted to be a cat, so when I was 4 my mom put my food and water in bowls on the floor for a day or two. She had to put an end to it when she caught me taking a ♥♥♥♥ in the cat's litter box. She still brings it up after a glass or two of wine...