https://deadspin.com/if-you-dont-want-to-watch-a-man-shoot-out-a-turd-into-a-1828897434

I sexually identify as Dio Brando. Ever since I was a little adopted boy I dreamed of killing my biological father and my step father through means of a blood sacrifice to become a vampire. People say that a person being an anime villain is impossible and I'm ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a surgeon dye my hair blonde, give me red eye contacts and turn me into a vampire by putting a stone mask onto my face that was created by the apex race of evolved humans that went into slumber 10,000 years ago. From now on, I want you guys to call me "DIO" and respect my right to feed off the misery of the Joestar family and their descendants. If you can't respect me you're a vampiraphobe and need to check your time-stopping privilege. Thank you, for being so understanding.

╔═════════════════J I H A D ☪ ＹＯＵＴＨ لا إله الله ══════════════════╗
If you are a beautiful strong JIHADI WARRIOR, someone will put this in your comments.
╚═════════════════J I H A D ☪ ＹＯＵＴＨ محمد رسول الله ═══════════════╝

Hey my N-word, just wanted to give a shoutout. I hope we can smoke a lot of illegal stuff in the future, maybe when my parents are not home.

What the heck did you just hecking say about me, you little pallet jack user? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Forklift Academy, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Sam's Club, and I have over 300 confirmed lifts. I am trained in the safe and efficient operation of a forklift and I’m the top pallet loader in the entire Costco Forklift Driver Facebook group. You are nothing to me but just another pallet. I will lift you the frick up with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my words. You think you can get away with saying that ♥♥♥♥ to me over the Internet? Think again. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of Costco supervisors across the USA and your Costco worker's ID is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your OSHA certification.

😩😩💦💦HNNNGGH😩💦💦colonel 💜i'm👆 trying😣 to🤫sneak 🤐😏around😎 but😜 i'm 😂dummy😂🍑THICC🍑 and the 👏clap👏 of my 🍑asscheeks🍑 keeps 🚨alerting🚨 the guards 💂‍♀️