It has been 4 hours since I successfully sucked my own penis. Things are different now. As soon as mouth-to-penis contact was made I felt a shockwave through my body. I have reason to believe I have super strength and telekinesis now.. 3 hours after contact I noticed a van parked on my street but no one has entered or exited the car since its arrival. I fear for my safety, I'm not sure what sort of power I may have stumbled upon but it's possible that the government has found out. If I don't update this again please send help.

I want to preface this by saying I'm okay, no catastrophic eye damage to me or my father.
We aren't in the path of totality, but we still bought a few pairs for viewing. Now I'd like to say I thought I'd be one of the smart ones this time around, but looks like I almost bought a one way ticket to Stupidville.
As we were watching it, I got the bright idea (Pun definitely intended) of grabbing my binoculars and trying to see through with the eclipse glasses. So I put the glasses on first, then brought the binoculars up to my eyes. Took a minute to find the sun, but eventually I did and it was awesome! We could see some sunspots and the lines were so crisp and clear! It was pretty cool, so I let my dad give it a go as well.

As I took a second turn, I noticed my right eye felt irregularly hot. I brushed it off, especially since the binoculars favored the left lense for viewing. Once I was done looking I took the binoculars off and noticed my grave error; THE LENSE OF THE BINOCULARS MADE A BEAM OF CONCENTRATED SUPER-LIGHT THAT MADE A HOLE IN THE GLASSES THAT ALMOST FRIED ME LIKE A LIGHTSABER TO THE RETINA.
I threw the glasses off my face and look down from the sun and we both checked our eyes for ghosting images. Thankfully, we were both fine! But looking back, I nearly became one of the people I laughed at so naively.

GIRLS DO NOT ♥♥♥♥

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hey, sorry I saw your roblox profile and I just thought you looked cute in your picture, I really wanted to tell you that)) It's really rare to see girls playing roblox haha! I don't know why its a guy thing honestly im like really with misogyny and like you'll be the one in the kitchen making sandwiches. We should really play roblox sometime its a really cool kids game with a lot of epic gamemodes like natural disaster survival, but don't worry ill be there to protect you ;) sorry that wasnt flirting I swear Im just trying to be friendly I really like your roblox profile picture sorry was that too far? Really sorry i'm really shy I don't go out much haha add me on roblox we should talk more you look really nice and fun xxx