I've had 3 instances of learning what love is actually about,
but this last one makes me feel like I've actually found something.
The first was when I was young,
I was naive,
I thought love had to be like what we saw on TV,
when you're absolutely stunned by that person's appearance,
when you can't focus on anything else when you're near them.
love isn't like that is what I've come to learn,
but i was child,
I was young and I'll admit, a bit foolish,
I didn't even have the confidence to actually go and talk to her.
and that's when our second love story occurred,
this time, I think I talked too much,
I wanted everyone, including her, to know that I had a crush.
I thought if I did everything to please her,
that maybe she'd like me better,
but as the saying goes,
you can't change the weather,
you just have to accept it,
no matter how tragic,
and eventually I did.
I used to think that if I loved hard enough, things would end up working,
but love isn't the same as exchanging money for a book,
it's not a transaction,
it's not just simple interactions,
it's a feeling so deep and so beautiful,
I could fill an entire library just talking about the third,
this one's sad, this one's happy,
but it feels really absurd,
it feels like I shouldn't like this person,
despite everything,
no constant butterflies,
no pulling on heart strings,
just genuine affection,
a two sided connection,
for the first time in my life i feel like I know why,
everything up to this point has ended up dying,
this one's been kept a secret,
and I think for a good reason,
I don't want to just be her boyfriend,
that would be disrespectful.
for god's sake please understand,
I wrote these poems for THE LOVE OF MY LIFE,
so I don't think it's fair for me to tell her how I'm feeling, deep down inside,
I don't want her to feel like she's obligated to like me,
I love being friends with her and I think that's enough,
no matter what happens to us, her name is always in my dua's.