DJ Katz's Keys to Success:
1. The key to happiness is low expectations. The lower the better.
2. Ignorance is bliss.
3. Apathy is content.
4. Sleep is for the week. Party is for the weekend.
5. Consume unhealthy food to build up a tolerance, which will allow you to consume more unhealthy food.
6. Exercise your immune system by ignoring basic hygiene.
7. Go big or go outside.

Dr. Katz's Medical Tips:
1. If it hurts, amputate.
2. Not eating is an easy way to lose weight, but it is also an easy way to die, so don't eat sparingly.
3. If you want to lose weight and still eat, consider contracting Dysentry or getting a pet tapeworm.
4. If you want to both lose weight and be healthy, consider getting rid of useless organs, such as your appendix, wisdom teeth, and hair.
5. Exercise infrequently to not use up your muscles.
6. Refrain from using painkillers or anti-itch cream to build up a tolerance.
7. If you are ever cold, in pain, or itchy, remember that ignorance is bliss. Ignore it for as long as you can. When you can no longer ignore it, remember that apathy is content. If you don't care about something you can't complain about it.
8. Spend time with sick people to get exposed to diseases in small quantities to build up an immunity.
9. Exercise mostly involves getting your heart rate up. You can do this while forgoing the physical exertion by playing Dead Space or watching a horror movie alone.

"Love a girl for her gameplay, not her graphics." -me

"My sex life is a lot like my gaming life. I play a lot of singleplayer." -me

I live in a cave and dislike contact with others. If you are not one of the few people I have seen outside of my cave, please do not communicate with me. My profile picture is an artistic rendition of what I look like.

Note: I have changed my name from UndeadWarrior42 to what it is currently