you aint

From the moment I understood the weakness of Bishop, it disgusted me. I craved the strength and certainty of Daltonium. I aspired the purity of the Blessed Milk Machine. Your kind cling to your Bishop as if he will not one day decay and fail you. One day the crude biomass that you call Georgia will wither and you will beg the Allens to save you. But I am already saved. For the Milk Machine is immortal. Even in death I serve the Milk Messiah

ATTENTION🚨 ALL HALO GAMERS!🎮 Master Chiefs mark v amour needs a new battery! 😱 He's been fighting 🙈 banished 🕳 on 🌎 zeta halo, but he is surrounded by Eschurams forces 👽 and he is in great danger.⚠️ In order to defeat the banished 👽, he's gonna need a Magnum 🔫, couple of frags💣, a battery 🔋, a couple of tanks would be nice too! If you want to help Master Chief, ALL HE NEEDS IS Your credit card 💳 number, The expiration date month and year 📅, and The three-digit code on the back BUT YOU HAVE TO HURRY! 💨 Or else, he won't make it off of zeta 🌎 halo. Otherwise The banished 👽will complete their conquest of the ring!

Border Security: "These Identification papers are clearly fake."


Me, a innocent Russian trying to leave Russia: "They're authentic. I'd know, I made them myself."

I love having wet explosive violent diarrhea when i'm at home

Few things in life are as gratifying than just opening the floodgates and absolutely blasting the porcelain throne with the storm surge of excrement that you get when you're feeling sick. Feeling it rush out is wonderful, and that satisfaction that it's all out just feels so rejuvenating, especially if your tummy was hurting before. Best done naked and drenched in sweat as well

Anyone that disagrees is a liar and should not be trusted

"You looking for a job? I can tell from your eyes that you're very unemployed." - Tony from the Marinara Crime Family