Zulu X-Ray's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 1 Nov, 2016 @ 11:39am

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 7 Nov, 2016 @ 4:29am

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 12 Nov, 2016 @ 5:53am

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 13 Nov, 2016 @ 5:25am

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 1 Nov, 2016 @ 11:59am

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 7 Nov, 2016 @ 4:33am

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 8 Nov, 2016 @ 4:17am

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 9 Nov, 2016 @ 8:25am

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 10 Nov, 2016 @ 3:04am

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 11 Nov, 2016 @ 2:33am

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 11 Nov, 2016 @ 8:38am

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 12 Nov, 2016 @ 8:17am

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

Unlocked 18 Nov, 2016 @ 6:57am

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 10 Nov, 2016 @ 6:35am

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 11 Nov, 2016 @ 3:11am

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

Unlocked 12 Nov, 2016 @ 7:28am

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 11 Nov, 2016 @ 4:02am

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked 20 Nov, 2016 @ 10:01am

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

Unlocked 18 Nov, 2016 @ 6:36am

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 9 Nov, 2016 @ 7:25am

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 11 Nov, 2016 @ 3:59am

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked 11 Nov, 2016 @ 3:01am

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 11 Nov, 2016 @ 3:51am

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 7 Nov, 2016 @ 4:24am

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 9 Nov, 2016 @ 7:44am

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 11 Nov, 2016 @ 8:42am

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Unlocked 20 Nov, 2016 @ 9:27am

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 13 Nov, 2016 @ 5:31am

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 11 Nov, 2016 @ 8:49am

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

Unlocked 18 Nov, 2016 @ 5:50am

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Unlocked 18 Nov, 2016 @ 5:50am

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Unlocked 18 Nov, 2016 @ 6:07am

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Unlocked 21 Nov, 2016 @ 7:24am

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 7 Nov, 2016 @ 4:25am

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 18 Nov, 2016 @ 5:57am

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 10 Nov, 2016 @ 2:57am

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 11 Nov, 2016 @ 9:03am

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 10 Nov, 2016 @ 2:42am

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Unlocked 18 Nov, 2016 @ 5:16am

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 1 Nov, 2016 @ 11:45am

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 7 Nov, 2016 @ 4:36am

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked 18 Nov, 2016 @ 5:01am

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 7 Nov, 2016 @ 4:56am

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 1 Nov, 2016 @ 11:54am

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 7 Nov, 2016 @ 4:28am

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 7 Nov, 2016 @ 4:39am

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 9 Nov, 2016 @ 8:11am

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Unlocked 18 Nov, 2016 @ 6:40am

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 11 Nov, 2016 @ 8:33am

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked 20 Nov, 2016 @ 6:44am

SCREW that game!

Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.

Unlocked 21 Nov, 2016 @ 3:58am

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 12 Nov, 2016 @ 8:19am

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 11 Nov, 2016 @ 8:35am

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

12 / 30

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

0 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

0 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

0 / 30