Pope Chimpus's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 27 Jul, 2015 @ 1:08pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 27 Jul, 2015 @ 2:11pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 27 Jul, 2015 @ 10:57pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 9 Aug, 2016 @ 12:51am

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 27 Jul, 2015 @ 1:38pm

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 28 Jul, 2015 @ 9:22pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 31 Jul, 2015 @ 10:22pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 7 Aug, 2016 @ 3:56pm

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 9 Aug, 2016 @ 1:11am

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 10 Aug, 2016 @ 8:42am

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 27 Jul, 2015 @ 2:37pm

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 28 Jul, 2015 @ 8:51pm

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

Unlocked 12 Aug, 2016 @ 2:31pm

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 9 Aug, 2016 @ 1:02am

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 28 Jul, 2015 @ 8:11pm

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked 12 Aug, 2016 @ 2:32pm

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 7 Aug, 2016 @ 3:43pm

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 30 Jul, 2015 @ 2:56pm

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked 27 Jul, 2015 @ 10:14pm

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 9 Aug, 2016 @ 1:09am

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 9 Aug, 2016 @ 1:07am

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 27 Jul, 2015 @ 10:16pm

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 9 Aug, 2016 @ 12:50am

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked 27 Jul, 2015 @ 11:17pm

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 9 Aug, 2016 @ 12:21am

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 9 Aug, 2016 @ 1:06am

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 27 Jul, 2015 @ 1:50pm

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked 11 Aug, 2016 @ 9:17am

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 9 Aug, 2016 @ 12:14am

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 28 Jul, 2015 @ 9:24pm

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked 9 Aug, 2016 @ 12:17am

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 27 Jul, 2015 @ 1:50pm

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 27 Jul, 2015 @ 1:39pm

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 19 Jul, 2015 @ 2:40pm

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 28 Jul, 2015 @ 9:28pm

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Unlocked 10 Aug, 2016 @ 7:09am

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 27 Jul, 2015 @ 2:30pm

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 12 Aug, 2016 @ 3:31pm

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.

Unlocked 9 Aug, 2016 @ 6:20pm

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 9 Aug, 2016 @ 6:05pm

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 10 Aug, 2016 @ 8:43am

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 10 Aug, 2016 @ 4:36pm

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Unlocked 10 Aug, 2016 @ 8:42pm

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Unlocked 11 Aug, 2016 @ 10:29am

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Unlocked 15 Aug, 2016 @ 5:35pm

Ape Gape

Escaped the Animal Control Center with all monkeys alive.

Unlocked 10 Aug, 2016 @ 4:13pm

Ginger Mint

Killed Zack Ward.

Unlocked 11 Aug, 2016 @ 9:29am

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

Unlocked 15 Aug, 2016 @ 6:23pm

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

Unlocked 15 Aug, 2016 @ 1:28pm

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 15 Aug, 2016 @ 6:00pm

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

19 / 30

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

5 / 30

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

6 / 10

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 30

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 20

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

15 / 30