What the actual ♥♥♥♥..

MY BOYFRIEND AND I HAVE BEEN GOING OUT
FOR ALMOST SIX MONTHS AND FINALLY TODAY
HE SAID HE WANTED TO GO "ALL THE WAY"
AND EVEN THOUGH I'M VERY RELIGIOUS I
THOUGHT YOU KNOW I SHOULD PROBABLY PUT
OUT OR THE GUY'S GOING TO GO HIRE SOME
PROSTITUTES

ANYWAY SO WE PICK A NIGHT AND MUCH TO MY
SURPRISE I FIND OUT THAT "ALL THE WAY"
MEANS HORRIBLE FISTING, ANAL, CREAMPIES,
BUKKAKE, AND MUD FUN FOR SIX HOURS STRAIGHT

NEEDLESS TO SAY I'M FILTHY, STICKY,
STRETCHED OUT, AND GLAZED LIKE A FAT HAM
BUT MY REAL CONCERN IS WHETHER OR NOT I CAN
CHANGE HIM AND MOLD HIM TO MY WILL ???????
I KNOW HE HAS A GOOD HEART BUT BOY HE SURE
LIKES BRINGING ANIMALS INTO THE BEDROOM