ᴛᴀʟᴜ 🐦's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 29 Jun, 2016 @ 8:42am

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 29 Jun, 2016 @ 9:33am

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 29 Jun, 2016 @ 8:40am

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 29 Jun, 2016 @ 9:05am

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 29 Jun, 2016 @ 10:21am

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 30 Jun, 2016 @ 12:37pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 30 Jun, 2016 @ 1:46pm

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 1 Jul, 2016 @ 2:50pm

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 2 Jul, 2016 @ 11:32pm

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 3 Jul, 2016 @ 5:58am

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 3 Jul, 2016 @ 1:20pm

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

Unlocked 16 Jun @ 5:27am

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 30 Jun, 2016 @ 2:17pm

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 30 Jun, 2016 @ 1:30pm

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 30 Jun, 2016 @ 2:09pm

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 30 Jun, 2016 @ 1:16pm

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 8 Jul, 2016 @ 11:03am

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 30 Jun, 2016 @ 12:47pm

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 29 Jun, 2016 @ 1:05pm

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 29 Jun, 2016 @ 9:26am

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 29 Jun, 2016 @ 10:04am

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 30 Jun, 2016 @ 1:27pm

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Unlocked 3 Jul, 2016 @ 12:02pm

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 13 Sep, 2021 @ 10:49am

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 2 Jul, 2016 @ 10:56pm

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked 3 Jul, 2016 @ 12:09pm

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 29 Jun, 2016 @ 9:29am

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 29 Jun, 2016 @ 1:47pm

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 30 Jun, 2016 @ 2:21pm

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 29 Jun, 2016 @ 9:22am

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked 30 Jun, 2016 @ 1:27pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 29 Jun, 2016 @ 8:28am

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 29 Jun, 2016 @ 1:28pm

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 29 Jun, 2016 @ 8:23am

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 29 Jun, 2016 @ 8:45am

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 29 Jun, 2016 @ 8:45am

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 30 Jun, 2016 @ 12:28pm

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 1 Jul, 2016 @ 1:58pm

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Unlocked 29 Jun, 2016 @ 11:08am

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 13 Sep, 2021 @ 10:13am

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked 11 Sep, 2021 @ 12:57pm

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.

Unlocked 29 Jun, 2016 @ 10:39am

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 29 Jun, 2016 @ 10:24am

John Rambo'd!

Made a very long killing spree.

Unlocked 29 Jun, 2016 @ 9:51am

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 3 Jul, 2016 @ 1:21pm

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 8 Jul, 2016 @ 11:52am

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Unlocked 9 Jul, 2016 @ 9:04am

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Unlocked 9 Jul, 2016 @ 12:48pm

Ginger Mint

Killed Zack Ward.

Unlocked 9 Jul, 2016 @ 10:46am

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

Unlocked 8 Jul, 2016 @ 11:45am

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 8 Jul, 2016 @ 10:59am

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked 30 Jun, 2016 @ 1:58pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

8 / 30

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

0 / 10

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

28 / 30

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

1 / 20

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

4 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

1,525 / 5,000