20
Products
reviewed
165
Products
in account

Recent reviews by Jordan

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Showing 1-10 of 20 entries
No one has rated this review as helpful yet
1 person found this review funny
18.7 hrs on record
Not very original,
copied DBP (Double Battle Pass) from a new competitor "The Finals"
It's ok since The Finals has even worst problems with Hackers.

Reason why you should migrate to "The Finals" from Apex Legends if you are a Hacker:

1. Devs allowed a Pistol that can shoot as fast as you pull the trigure - 30 rounds in 5 ms insta kills.
2. The game had same amazing and rewording double battle pass system as Apex, but it did it first.
3. There are literally no non hacker players left in Apex Legends, so it's not fun for you anymore.

All and all The Finals is a pretty bad and very chaotic game. It claims to be Team Based, but since it's Team vs Team vs Team vs Team it's basicly a Battle Royale Team game. Full of children hyperventilating because no one really knows what is happening and why.

I have not actually played a lot of Apex Legends and I never liked it. But hey I also hated The Finals. Tomatos Tomatos.
Posted 30 July, 2024.
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No one has rated this review as helpful yet
27.8 hrs on record (7.7 hrs at review time)
Thefinals T stands for Team

10/10 best unfriend simulator.
Posted 8 December, 2023. Last edited 10 December, 2023.
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No one has rated this review as helpful yet
550.2 hrs on record (327.1 hrs at review time)
TL:DR Only for Cyberpunk fans before 2013

You've been waiting 7 years for this ... chom pls been waiting since 1984 for this one ...
Read Neuromancer from William Gibson, then agree what CDPR did was skip the "book author" this time and go for "it was based of a table top game no one has ever herd about" Yea right sounds like Johnny bul about rebelling against the system like a Teen in his mid 30s.

Let me explain I love cyberpunk not 2077 and picking the name of your Genre for the Title of your work is pretty damn childish. Ever played that game called "FPS 4000"? No cause it's dumb. But what are they gonna do, you know any other Cyberpunk games based of W.Bibson vision of Cyberpunk? What about Movies or Shows about THIS EXACT version of Cyberpunk?

Here is a wiki list on Cyberpunk
Movies: 3 (The Matrix should not even count, the other 2 are based on W.Bibson books, Keano played in Johnny Nemonic for pit sake NEVER mentioned by CDPR intentually not to make any connection to the writer)
Shows: 1 (other Cyberpunk way too far in the Future)
Games: 1 before Cyberpunk - Systemshock

Things in Cyberpunk 2077 Ripped off from W. Gibson World of Cyberpunk:

Night City - It's where Neuromancer starts at ...
Johny Silverhand - Combination between the Metal Arm of main character in Burning Chrome and the name of Johnny Mnemonic, the only Sole contribution of the "Table Top Game"
The Doll Saga with Judi - One of the most disturbing ideas of Cyberpunk was a future were sexwork might be considered just like any other by removing the psychological complexity that comes with it. The main character of the Sprawl trilogy used to be a Doll.
Street Samurai - Molly Millions same exact bad ass Ex-Doll now muscle for hire called her self Street Samurai. So happy this game calls them "Solo" and not Street Samurai not to confuse them with a Samurai grupee.
The Construct - in Neuromancer Case worked with a Construct of a Hacker that got fried by an AI and recorded for latter use.
AI want to be free, needs your help against a Corp - Besicly Neuromancer's plot.
Burn the City - Burn means steal everything some one got, since they are connected to Mafia or Corp they will probably be zeroed for their their mistake

Making it in Night City is the equivalent of the American Dream, most people will give up their arm and leg if there is even a 0.1% chance they will make it. Very few do the rest are left crippled as a reminder of their own naive younger self. Wait they got that pretty damn spot on. Holy crap this game was actually pretty amazing.

What could have been done better:

Stick to the recepie of using a Writer's Book to make the plot of your game PLS, it worked fine with Witcher just PAY them next time... you're using their work anyways ...
Cars: Cyberpunk fans don't give a rats ass about Cars ... really I mean it. Fling Taxies maybe, not cars.
In a world with everyone having Jacks to Jack in a System, no one needs MONITORS. People can just jack in to a box and see the screen in their eyes :) I guess that will save some production work not needing to place all those Desks and Monitors around the Maps too ;)
Little bit more story about how Implants are actually making people less human and more robot then just one mission. Also the bad side effects that implants can have(some were covered could have been covered more).
Johnny Silverhand is a Child raging against the Machines ... I am sure he is lovely if you are in your 20s but if you are a grown person you just ignore his kids talk about fighting the System. Art is the one thing that has invoked the most feeling and resulted in the least action then anything else in this world :)

Why I LOVE this game:

Because it is in deed based of W.Gibson's Cyberpunk vision and it is the Only Game that does it justice! Cyberpunk was born and died in the 80s. I am both happy and sad that this game was Ripped from my favorite books because I got so much more then I expected. As a Cyberpunk fan before you guys even heard Cyberpunk existed I am jizzing in my pants right now walking throw the streets of Night City. A City where "Fixers" are just the middle man and it's only a matter of time before both sides decide no one really needs the middle man. A City where people end up not because they made it, but because they failed everywhere else. A meat grinder that will gladly take your flesh offering for 0.1% luck for you to make it out of there. A City of Neon light cheap hotels and fast food that was walking around it a couple of days ago.

A place where so many are ready to sacrifice everything to become Legend, but will be left with nothing but a broken dream.

The main Plot idea of Cyberpunk always was a new spin on the American Dream, now that stuff is still as real as it always was. Just go online and tell me how many "Real People" you actually see as "influencers". Just see how many "poeple" are streaming their private lives, dates, dinners, making their children play video games so they can edit them and put them on Youtube Kids. Things will get a lot worst on The Matrix with time.

The Game is Great, the developers did Cyberpunk justice, just next time don't call it Cyberpunk it's embracing. You should have called it what it is Night City.
Posted 5 September, 2021.
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5 people found this review helpful
1 person found this review funny
6.4 hrs on record (3.3 hrs at review time)
Early Access Review
Pros: If you have a Phone you would like playing this on it.
Cons: Has more Microtransactions then my Phone has D Pics.
Posted 4 March, 2021.
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No one has rated this review as helpful yet
27.7 hrs on record
A while ago I used to get payed to drive my Truck
Now I have to pay to Drive my Truck
10/10 Real Life Accuracy of this Carrier Path
Posted 3 September, 2020.
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No one has rated this review as helpful yet
2.9 hrs on record
This is a PvP game, as such you need to first LEARN the darn thing before you complain how bad it is because you don't understand how it works.

This is NOT a MOBA game, all units on the map are PLAYER CONTROLLED.
This is not a Mechwarrior game, you control not 1 but 4 Units.
This seems like PvP game only, if you expect Single player keep in mind it does not seems to have one so far.

Game Play:
You need to understand you control a CREW not a single Ship but a ship and 3 other Units. Every one of those have individual skills with cooldowns that are all different. Unless you learn how to use both your Ship and your Units you will not win in this game and think of it as Boring and Blend. It is unique, since you control 4 units in total and all units on the map are Player controlled you actions DO matter only if you actually do something with your entire Crew not just your ship. Stop going Pew Pew Pew and wonder why you died.

Game Modes:
Standard modes Cap Zone and Cap Flag but spiced up a bit.

Maps:
Too restrictive and small for my taste, but they work I guess.

Verdict:
People gonna hate on this game so hard cause they sucked at it and they sucked at it cause they did not understood how to use all 4 units they are suppose to control.
Posted 1 February, 2020.
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No one has rated this review as helpful yet
2.9 hrs on record (0.9 hrs at review time)
I can not believe it took so long for some one to figure out Surfing is fun. The 3D movement in VR with Jet Hands may not be something new, but the addition of a surf board and grappling hook is a well working combo. I personally think of this game as a Sport Movement type of game like a VR X-game. There might be no story but do you need a story in a Tony Hawk game? If you like surfing in CS:GO, sk8 games, even MTB trails this is a very good expirianse. I only played it for an hour but I new this I will like by the videos alone. Just Epic VR Grapple Surfing what more do you want :) Hats down to the creator for creating something that was desired by many and not quite done this way because others wanted Multiplayer and PvP.
Posted 20 December, 2019.
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1 person found this review helpful
13.1 hrs on record (11.1 hrs at review time)
I can drive a car now in VR just as in real world I can also not stop at Red lights and and flip off other drivers. I can even flip off people without the use of Valve Index but just using my Hand when I let got of my steering wheel and extend my middle f.

Only one problem I keep repeating my driving Exam and I can't ever take it. Maybe make the entire Story more skipable and let us train what we want. It is seasy to get stuck on once exacise and then you can't move on to the next.
Posted 29 November, 2019.
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1 person found this review helpful
4 people found this review funny
0.4 hrs on record
Just plazed it for 30 minutes, am considering requesting my money back before I played it more then 2 hours. My guess is it's a 3D beat em up game with a huge grind wall. I'm off playing Cadilacs and Dinosors on MAME. Also NO ONE GETS THE TITLE OF THE GAME!
Oh I forgot to say you are not playing this on a Keyboard and Mause, just forget it.
Posted 29 September, 2018. Last edited 29 September, 2018.
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12 people found this review helpful
749.0 hrs on record (508.5 hrs at review time)
A working modern Space sim? I can be like Hans Solo. Like Cp Picard. I can explore the univerce, do economics, trade, mine, dog fight ships and it's all online vs other people!

Untill you realize there is no real people since all real people play on Solo and do the same missions over and over again that get you 100 milions per run just because they follow the reddit for the latest exploid of a broken game.

A grind intence MMO that most players would play alone in Solo mode in 2017 oh boy what a joy....

2018 re-review:
They ♥♥♥♥♥♥ up Keybindings even more. Now my keybindings keep reseting ... I can't bind any new keys... WTF
Posted 4 October, 2017. Last edited 14 October, 2018.
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Showing 1-10 of 20 entries