Who leaves a message like that one about star wars on their profile.... yikes

orc massage was great, thanks for asking guys!

Seeing John Boyega for the first time in The Force Awakens was the shock of my life.

I was so hyped for the sequel trilogy that I cagily avoided all marketing materials, all trailers, and all commercials. If I walked by a toy aisle at the store and caught a small glimpse of a vehicle or stormtrooper, I'd look away immediately. I wanted to go into the new era of Star Wars with an entirely open mind, as pure as an Amish virgin. On opening night I knew there was a brown-haired female protagonist (that much was hard to avoid, even though I shielded my eyes), but little else. I didn't even know which classic characters were returning.

When Boyega first took off that helmet and revealed himself to the theater, I let out an audible gasp. My entire row of filmgoers looked at me like I was nuts, but I couldn't help myself. There before me was the most Simian creature I'd ever seen in a galaxy far, far away. An intergalactic gorilla with huge flaring ♥♥♥♥♥♥ nostrils and big Nigerian chieftain lips.

Oftentimes film studios will soften the blow by casting Billy Dee Williams or Will Smith... but not this time. This time you were forced to feast your eyes on a pure-blooded coal black silverback ♥♥♥♥♥♥, blown up forty feet high on an IMAX screen.

I looked around, uncomprehendingly, as the rest of the crowd seemed to accept this monstrosity as a regular matter of course. Then it occurred to me that I was the only person who hadn't already seen months' worth of marketing materials.

Little by little, they had been led to accept this by drips and drabs of commercials, trailers, and TV interviews. Their minds had been so softened that they were willing to stare unflinchingly, even giggle and smile at the ♥♥♥♥♥♥shines, as Mega♥♥♥♥♥♥ (missing only a bone in his nose) besmirched the galaxy.

Lots of people debate about the exact moment when Star Wars died. I contend it was when that minstrel-looking sweaty jigaboo removed his helmet and revealed his Lovecraftian face.

----------------／＞　 フ
----------------| 　_　 _
-------------／` ミ＿xノ
----------- /　　　　|
----------/　 ヽ　　 ﾉ
---------│　　|　|　|
---／￣|　　 |　|　|
----| (￣ヽ＿_ヽ_)__)
----＼二つ