That mans,

1. stole my lady
2. stole my car
3. stole my virginty

all because I didn't let him get a magazine on 7 days

He like french toast burgers.

He locked me in a file cabinet I am currently typing this on my mobile steam companion before my phone dies please someone send help, he only feeds me mealworm gruel through a small slit that I have to use to breathe through I'm not sure how much longer I can take this