Recent reviews by BoredIIDeath

A triple A quality masterpiece.

Disgustingly underrated! I remembered playing Millennium Edition some three years ago and had quite the blast! Playing Gold Edition made my eyes orgasm with pure awesome with all the new weapons and features!

It's really sad that this game had a rocky start which really hurt first impressions with the public, but that's all in the past and I hope to see more from Pixel Titan in the near future! Keep on rocking, boys!

As someone who's been into the Postal games since I was 14, I can safely say that this game actually ROCKS!

Sure, it's not perfect; Driving in the police cars handle and are about as much fun as being a toddler on an ice rink while trying to push five shopping carts all at once, the black and white kinda makes it hard to spot cops sometimes, and the game's difficulty can get extremely ludicrous EVEN on easy, but over all I think it's pretty satisfying for what it tries to do! The guns feel great, the executions don't disrupt the flow of the game, it doesn't feel overstayed with it's objectives and side missions (despite the only goal pretty much being KILLING EVERYONE), and the total conversion mods are killer as ♥♥♥♥!

I really only wanted to try it because I got it on sale for like 3 bucks (I know, I'm a cheapskate) BUT I think you get something decent for full price. Trust me if you do decide to play it, Hatred 1.666 and the color mod are both must haves. Hatred 1.666 let's you play in both third AND first person and the color mode makes spotting cops and other hostiles a whole lot easier.

Does it replace any of the Postal games? Not by a long shot. Is it still a good time when you need to take the edge off (at least when you're not easily overrun by cops and soldiers)? I'd have to say yeah. This is really just my opinion, clearly it's not something for everyone (I even got a friend who straight up ♥♥♥♥ all over this game AVGN style) but if you're feeling edgy, you could do way, WAY worse than this game (and I say that in a good way)!

Of all my years of existing on this planet, I have never received a bigger middle finger towards a beloved franchise than this.

THIS version of Duke Nukem 3D has to be the biggest representation on how shady Gearbox Software and it’s founder really are.

The controls feel clunky, the weapon switching is barely functional and twice as slow compared to the original because they thought it was a good idea to add a weapon menu that you can’t even shut off, even the developer commentary is a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ bust because there’s barely any substance to it.

I think the greatest sin of all is the fact that Gearbox went out of there way to get rid of any possible chance to buy Megaton Edition on the internet, making this half assed cash grab version the ONLY legal way to own and play Duke Nukem 3D.

I am so sick of the mistreatment Gearbox has done to the franchise since they acquired it way back around 2011 just so they could release DNF as if it was some attraction at a freak show with Randy literally shouting “STEP RIGHT UP! COME SEE THE GAME THAT TOOK FOURTEEN YEARS TO MAKE THANKS TO A FAT MIDDLE AGED MANBABY WHO COULDN’T DECIDE ON WHAT HE WANTED FOR THIS GAME!!”.

Duke Nukem is a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ joke to the entire internet all thanks to these bastards, and that will NEVER change so long as Gearbox and Randy Pitchford has this IP in there grubby little hands.

♥♥♥♥ this version and ♥♥♥♥ that slimey business man Randy. It wasn’t even worth the two dollars I spent on at the Winter Summer Sale.

I'm glad I got this game for free otherwise I would probably want to punch whoever made it in the face.

Even the defeat of the bosses somehow don't feel satisfying no matter how many times you die to them. The battles are so often unfair (Example the cube boss in act 1) that it's almost like a troll game you have your friends play just so you can laugh at them flipping out over how much ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ it is if the frustrating controls don't get to them first.

I'm sorry, but this is not a rewarding experience.

Either these are some bad ports of the first six Mega Man games, or someone at Capcom screwed up when they didn't have Mega Man's power ups and/or health replenish when he respawns because I am literally trapped in the final boss fight with Dr. Wily in MM2 because I don't have much health or much energy for the power ups. Oh and also no matter HOW MANY TIMES I try I just can't dodge the bouncing projectiles in the second phase of the boss fight. I've tried jumping over them at the right time, run pass them when they bounce over me, and stand in positions so precise there is literally absolutely no reason at all I should be hit when they bounce right over me. They even hit me when they're nowhere near me at all.

And this isn't a "GIT GUD SCRUB" moment, I'm serious when I say that especially with the reverse button (which I don't even like the idea of because it's literally cheating). This boss is just beatable in the position I'm in.

If this free version is anything like the full thing, then I declare this software as a scam. It’s buggy, unresponsive, and the commands are extremely limited to what you want your assets to do in your game.

For instance, all I wanted to do was make my own custom playable character without the default movement setups like the “platform” or “eight directions” because they’re very crappy and still limits what you can do with the commands. You can’t do that...Well barely at least.

I can’t make him walk left and right but I just wanted to give the character the ability to crouch down. But for whatever reason and after several hours of trying to fix the problem, the character ends up moving downward when I hold down left or right with the down key.

Again, if this version is anything like the full, then I would suggest staying away from it. Ultimately for this version, it’s a peice of crap.

Pretty fun! My only complaint though is the resolution just doesn't match my screen so a large chunk of it usually isn't viewable even with the fullscreen turned off. I hope there will come an update where this could be fixable because I totally want to not miss out on the hilarious dialogue.

I just finished playing Lisa the Painful. Words...I don't think words can describe how I felt now that I made it all the way through. But I'll try my best to describe how I feel...

Never in my life have I ever had my emotions driven by a game so strongly. Though I can't honestly say it ruined my life (it basically already was ruined a long, long time ago) I can say that it's helped me strengthen my outlook on a few things. Though I won't say what since I fear it'll ruin the experience, but I will say it's a rather unique one compared to every other game I've ever played. I know even after I'm only done with Lisa the Painful and if I ever manage to get my hands on and finish the other installments of the series, I know for a long time I will be thinking of this game and it's universe now and again...

I'm going to be honest, I've been afraid of playing this game for months before I manned up and finally gained the will to play it from start to finish thanks to all of the horror stories I've heard about it. From understanding and even living the pain of the protagonist "Brad Armstrong", to the risk of losing everything including your friends that you've come to know and love...It was just about everything I feared...And frankly, it was quite satisfying even with my worst nightmares brought to life.

And when it's finally all over, it sorta makes you rethink the story you just experienced. Like was what happened what really happened? Who really won in all of this...







...Did he do the right thing?

This has to be the most boring game I've ever played in my life.