"If we get too dependent on technology, computers will wake up and kill us. So we have to kill them before they wake up, but we don't want to kill them too soon or we'll miss out on all that pornography that the internet makes every day." - Mike Tyson

"A young man with his pants hanging half off his rear, two gold front teeth, and a half inch thick gold chain around his neck, walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check.

He marched up to the counter and said, "Hi. You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job. I don't like taking advantage of the system, getting something for nothing."

The social worker behind the counter said "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You'll have to drive around in his 2014 Mercedes-Benz CL, and he will supply all of your clothes."

PART 2

"Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll also be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips. This is rather awkward to say, but you will also have, as part of your job, the assignment to satisfy her sexual urges as the daughter is in her mid-20's and has a rather strong sex drive."

The guy, just plain wide-eyed, said, "You're bull-♥♥♥♥♥♥♥' me!"
The social worker said, "Yeah, well . . . You started it . . . . “

LOL NICE

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░░░░Your A Great Friend!░
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