Dustyskulls's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 7 Apr, 2015 @ 12:39pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 7 Apr, 2015 @ 12:18pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 7 Apr, 2015 @ 1:11pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 31 Dec, 2023 @ 9:48pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 11 Aug, 2018 @ 5:06pm

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 7 Apr, 2015 @ 11:20pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 29 Sep, 2016 @ 2:13pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 3 Nov, 2019 @ 3:08pm

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 3 Nov, 2019 @ 4:14pm

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 3 Nov, 2019 @ 9:03pm

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 3 Nov, 2019 @ 9:54pm

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

Unlocked 23 Aug, 2018 @ 1:15am

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 8 Sep, 2015 @ 6:02pm

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 2 Nov, 2019 @ 10:03pm

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Unlocked 1 Jan @ 12:46pm

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 7 Apr, 2015 @ 12:39pm

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 22 Aug, 2018 @ 3:30pm

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 7 Apr, 2015 @ 11:37pm

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 26 Sep, 2016 @ 3:42pm

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 11 Aug, 2018 @ 5:25pm

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 5 Sep, 2015 @ 3:00pm

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 3 Nov, 2019 @ 4:10pm

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 8 Sep, 2015 @ 6:09pm

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 31 Dec, 2023 @ 9:59pm

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 6 Sep, 2015 @ 7:19pm

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked 3 Jan @ 6:18pm

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked 28 Sep, 2016 @ 3:01pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 7 Apr, 2015 @ 3:17pm

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 26 Sep, 2016 @ 3:42pm

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked 7 Apr, 2015 @ 12:57pm

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 7 Apr, 2015 @ 11:37am

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 7 Apr, 2015 @ 11:58am

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 7 Apr, 2015 @ 12:37pm

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 3 Nov, 2019 @ 3:38pm

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 8 Sep, 2015 @ 6:24pm

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 7 Apr, 2015 @ 11:42am

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Unlocked 7 Apr, 2015 @ 11:29pm

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked 31 Dec, 2023 @ 10:11pm

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.

Unlocked 7 Apr, 2015 @ 12:10pm

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 7 Apr, 2015 @ 11:41am

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 5 Sep, 2015 @ 2:02pm

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Unlocked 6 Sep, 2015 @ 10:15am

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Unlocked 6 Sep, 2015 @ 11:25am

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Unlocked 8 Sep, 2015 @ 5:47pm

Ape Gape

Escaped the Animal Control Center with all monkeys alive.

Unlocked 4 Sep, 2015 @ 10:39pm

Dick Message

Wasted no time with the Wise Wang.

Unlocked 5 Nov, 2019 @ 8:44pm

Ginger Mint

Killed Zack Ward.

Unlocked 6 Sep, 2015 @ 10:56am

Ladies Love Cake

Defeated your hateful ex-wife with delicious cake.

Unlocked 6 Sep, 2015 @ 11:24am

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

Unlocked 8 Sep, 2015 @ 2:26pm

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 11 Aug, 2018 @ 5:25pm

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

6 / 30

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

4 / 30

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

18 / 30

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

0 / 10

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

7 / 30

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

20 / 30

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

4 / 20

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

0 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

1,930 / 5,000