PieMan
Mike   United Kingdom (Great Britain)
 
 
The Legend of PieMan

PieMan became well known in the Wolfenstein:ET community between 2006 and 2013 having been voted 'Most Likely To Have The Biggest Penis' 7 consecutive years running; a record in modern video gaming. PieMan's penis actually burst onto the ET scene long before PieMan himself did, due to large as-yet-immeasurable portions of it existing in a future time-line.

PieMan's manhood has long been the subject of gaming folklore, with several members of the ET community claiming to have passed out merely through reading a written description of its size. Others have suggested that PieMan is not actually a man with an enormous penis at all, but a penis with a man attached to it. Though the whispers and rumblings of gaming's underbelly disagree somewhat on the origins of PieMan's gigantic pole, they are unanimous in their overall verdict: PieMan's ♥♥♥♥'s massive.

Following ET's demise, PieMan went on to have the biggest penis in several other online fps games and currently holds the award in CS:GO, where players have been known to self-kill both in and outside of the game whenever PieMan connects to their server. Reports that a Vietnamese gamer self-immolated in protest of PieMan's penis' increased server load are unconfirmed at the time of writing.

When he's not busy writing about himself in the third person, PieMan can most often be found with your mother whilst in possession of an enormous phallus.
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Clane 10 Feb @ 2:42am 
I stood there, tracing the indent with my fingertips, feeling the weight of nostalgia pressing down on me. How could I forget the day he had barged into my house, bubbling with excitement, his eyes gleaming with mischief? He had convinced me to join him on one of his harebrained schemes, promising it would be an adventure we'd never forget but I did not like to disturb Mother.

As quickly as he had entered my life, he had vanished, leaving behind only memories and that unmistakable indent in the floor. I often wondered where life had taken him, what adventures he had embarked upon since our last meeting.

Standing there in the quiet of my childhood home, I realised that some friendships leave a mark that time cannot erase. He may have been long gone, but his spirit lingered in every creak of the floorboards, every whisper of the wind. And as I traced the indent one last time, I whispered a silent thank you to the friend who had left an indelible mark on my heart and the floor.
(2/2)
Clane 10 Feb @ 2:40am 
As I walked into my childhood home, a flood of memories washed over me. The familiar scent of cedar mixed with a hint of lavender still lingered in the air, wrapping me in a warm embrace. But as I stepped further inside, my heart skipped a beat at the sight before me.

There it was, unmistakable yet surreal - the massive indent in the wooden floor that trailed from my mother's bedroom to the top of the stairs, down the steps, and finally, out the front door. It was a mark left by a friend I hadn't seen in years.

His name was PieMan, a wild spirit with an infectious laugh, a penchant for adventure and a massive penis. We had been inseparable during our teenage years, exploring every nook and cranny of our small town together. But life had a way of pulling people apart, and our paths diverged as we ventured into adulthood, or he ventured into my mothers room.

(1/2)
Clane 24 Nov, 2021 @ 5:34am 
Very nice guy, and his bio is 100% true - can vouche for that. +rep
✪Boomboxes 10 Nov, 2017 @ 12:53pm 
-rep CHEATER!!!!11
TheTrueMacDaddy. 24 Sep, 2017 @ 4:54am 
wh and salty.
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