Recent reviews by Denny Crane

I remember when these cartoons were little short things, they put before the ACTUAL movie. Anyone else remember newsreels before the movie? This video game brings back all those classic cartoons from MY youth and many I don't recognize, then allows you to have them fight.
There is a light atmosphere reflected in the colors, lighting and music. That all changes once the combat begins. Today's fighter games have so many buttons and combinations of buttons to press that I have no chance; this video game instead has only three buttons plus four to move with.
Beating up on Democrats (you can tell) as classic cartoon characters. Denny Crane.

The final fight alone is worth it. What the fans have have wanted in a final fight since the very first iteration. Denny Crane.

Who knew that playing cartoon-ninja-turtles from the Reagan era could be so fun. From what I've seen there isn't one injection of Alphabet People nor Neo-Socialism/Communism. No one grooming children in this video game. Buy it to remember Reaganomics; buy it to simply play a video game without wondering if the sissies are going to come and get you.
Denny Crane.

Denny Crane here with a word on "pessimism." If I were a pessimistic person I would not recommend this video game. The reasons being that this was obviously released too early, with many still missing things, incomplete areas, place holder graphics, lackluster character customizer, lack of proper training, and "bugs" galore.
However, this video game has a LOT going for it as of now with improvements to come. The combat is solid, there is reasoning for all that is happening, gun play is fast, melee is fast and smooth, there are also simple missions to complete WHILE in the world shooting, stabbing and sucking. Meanwhile the atmosphere and music are right on par for what those sad, fat, little goths love.
This video game has a solid foundation -while released too soon- is not entirely without merit and fun. If a sissy nerd, programmer came to me and asked me to invest in something called "Twitter" I'd insist on being on the board to prevent censorship. Hindsight. This video game is a GROUND floor to get in on, with no financial risk. It's a free video game with a solid foundation.
Suck the life out of, shoot, and slash Democrats, foreigners, Socialists, and neo Communists. Denny Crane.

There is charm and there is whimsy. There is wholesomeness and there is genuine emotion. However, those things cannot make up for the rough parts the hold this video game back. This video game claims you can grapple from almost anywhere and that is simply not true. Specially towards the end of the video game the places in which you can grapple are few and far between. I understand this is intended but then it shouldn't be stated that the player can grapple almost anywhere. Not to mention the darker portions make it near impossible to see where you're going while trying to figure out "on the fly" where you can grapple, let alone see the points you CAN grapple from.
The controls while simple have nuances that are not explained which leads to frustrating bouts of trial and error. There is pleasant music throughout which keeps the player calm during the frustrating portions.
The characters and backgrounds are rough. It is obvious this was done independently however some things are just poorly done. The voice acting while well done, is brought low by poor animations and jagged edges. Denny Crane.

Denny Crane here. This video game is not even complete and it is mindless fun. This video game is such a simple design yet it's performance is top notch. It stands as a shining example to my adage: "Never use the Unity video game "engine."" I asked and was explained that "Vampire Survivors" does NOT use the Unity "engine." To compare - "Zombie Night Terror" is a video game that also has a simple design but uses Unity. At any point in time, there could be a dozen zombies on your screen, anything more and the video game starts to break down, stuttering like a re-t-ard-ed child. "Vampire Survivors" could have over a hundred enemies including your character on the screen, mixed with flashing (albeit simple) animations from your half-a-dozen weapons, and it runs smooth as butter.
Yes, buy this video game and know that once again, Denny Crane is correct in stating: "Unity is a terrible video game engine." Denny Crane.

Denny Crane here to tell you to buy this video game. Guns, guns, and more guns is what you get. What you don't get is Ms. Weaver in her underwear. When you think you have beaten this video game you learn that there are harder difficulties, which only ups the fun and action. Never will you fully understand how your specific Marine will play out until you completely level up his abilities to the maximum. Not to mention there are multiple "classes" to do just that. More so they give you another "class" just by beating the video game once over. All this contained on your one Marine.
There is one draw back: almost no way to communicate with your teammates. No typing and no built in voice communication program. However, this does cut down on the chit chat, and hearing a woman complain she doesn't like being told no one will sleep with her because she sounds ugly. If she doesn't want to live up to her God-given purpose then she shouldn't talk. Also, lose some weight, fatty. With that said, this video game DOES give you a way to display context sensitive targets and give orders so there is that.
Guns, violence, Mexican-cussing, and numerous ways to customize your Marine. Denny Crane.

Denny Crane here:
I would honestly say not to buy this video game. I purchased it during a time when I was looking to understand a common thread among certain video games that seemed to have similar problems. That's when I discovered the problem was the Unity "engine." This video game "engine" bottlenecks and hinders the potential of any video game. It doesn't matter what your ambitions are for making a video game, Unity will always hinder you on your end product. If I had known then what I know now, I would never have bought this video game on principal alone.
With all that said, there IS a very entertaining video game underneath all the cheap animations, unresponsive buttons and general errors. If you can overlook the cheapness, substandard performance and lack of anything beyond what other video games came before, then enjoy. Make no mistake, because this uses Unity, this is just another version of Darkest Dungeon. Draw the parallels yourself and you'll see.
Good idea hampered by cheap video game engine developed most likely by Democrats/Socialists/Neo-Communists. I'm only giving it a positive review because I DO enjoy playing it. Denny Crane.

Denny Crane here to give accolades to this video game. Its atmosphere, music, sound effects and, design all show a deep level of personal attention and care. The one word to describe this video game: "charming." To the last moment this video game charms your soul. Buy this video game. Denny Crane.

It feels good to be right all the time. Unity is a video game "engine" that is used to make video games. Any "engine" is what dictates what the developers of video games are capable of doing, the limitations are only that of the "engine" used. I refunded this video game based on being proven correct and from terrible customer relations towards those that question methods.
When I saw this video game LOOKED like Unity was used in its production, I knew it would not only look cheap, run ineffectively and its buttons be unresponsive. I asked, to be certain if Unity was the "engine" used and I was proven right the first time (sometimes you can judge a book by its cover). Some sissy-boys on the Steam internet forums tried to defend against my logic with because it must be mean "toxic" to critique based on proven facts. I then bought this video game to prove my point AND disprove the sissies. Guess what: Denny Crane was proven right yet again. To top it all with a cherry, one of the video game developers prevented any further updates to my Steam forum post further proving my point.
Do not buy this video game. It was made cheaply, it was made poorly, and the people involved cannot stand it when they are proven wrong, not to mention their sissy fans can't take it either. Denny Crane.