zuich's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 5 Mar, 2016 @ 4:38am

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 14 Feb, 2015 @ 10:12am

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 5 Mar, 2016 @ 4:24am

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 19 Oct, 2019 @ 6:31am

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 12 Mar, 2016 @ 11:02am

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 12 Sep, 2019 @ 11:42pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 14 Sep, 2019 @ 12:52pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 14 Sep, 2019 @ 2:07pm

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 15 Sep, 2019 @ 1:26pm

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 15 Sep, 2019 @ 3:01pm

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 16 Sep, 2019 @ 12:02am

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 18 Oct, 2019 @ 9:09am

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

Unlocked 5 Mar, 2016 @ 5:15am

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 5 Mar, 2016 @ 5:19am

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 19 Oct, 2019 @ 8:15am

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked 15 Sep, 2019 @ 3:19pm

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 14 Sep, 2019 @ 2:00pm

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Unlocked 19 Oct, 2019 @ 6:39am

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 19 Oct, 2019 @ 7:15am

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 13 Sep, 2019 @ 4:33am

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 14 Sep, 2019 @ 12:02pm

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 12 Sep, 2019 @ 12:14pm

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 14 Mar, 2016 @ 10:48am

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 15 Sep, 2019 @ 12:03pm

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Unlocked 19 Oct, 2019 @ 8:37am

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 19 Oct, 2019 @ 6:55am

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 15 Sep, 2019 @ 1:23pm

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

Unlocked 18 Oct, 2019 @ 11:32am

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Unlocked 20 Oct, 2019 @ 7:01am

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Unlocked 20 Oct, 2019 @ 7:01am

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 12 Sep, 2019 @ 12:22pm

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 14 Sep, 2019 @ 1:49am

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 15 Sep, 2019 @ 1:14pm

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 5 Mar, 2016 @ 6:16am

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked 19 Oct, 2019 @ 7:34am

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Unlocked 12 Mar, 2016 @ 11:36am

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2015 @ 6:21am

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 19 Oct, 2019 @ 7:31am

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 14 Feb, 2015 @ 10:13am

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 5 Mar, 2016 @ 4:52am

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2015 @ 9:39am

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 20 Oct, 2019 @ 4:02am

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 14 Sep, 2019 @ 1:45pm

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Unlocked 19 Oct, 2019 @ 7:34am

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 19 Oct, 2019 @ 7:17am

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Unlocked 19 Oct, 2019 @ 7:34am

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked 12 Sep, 2019 @ 12:57pm

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 14 Sep, 2019 @ 2:09pm

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 18 Oct, 2019 @ 9:12am

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2015 @ 8:18am

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Unlocked 5 Mar, 2016 @ 5:29am

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Unlocked 10 Mar, 2016 @ 11:28am

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Unlocked 12 Mar, 2016 @ 11:34am

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

Unlocked 14 Mar, 2016 @ 12:03pm

Ape Gape

Escaped the Animal Control Center with all monkeys alive.

Unlocked 20 Oct, 2019 @ 1:45pm

Dick Message

Wasted no time with the Wise Wang.

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2015 @ 6:51am

Ginger Mint

Killed Zack Ward.

Unlocked 5 Mar, 2016 @ 6:39am

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

Unlocked 14 Mar, 2016 @ 11:21am

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

17 / 30

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

23 / 30

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

8 / 10

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

28 / 30

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

22 / 30

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

1 / 20

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

7 / 30

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

5 / 30