Bro, I can smell the loneliness radiating off your profile like expired microwave ramen. You’re out here grinding for stupid mmr (or elo) while I’m out here grinding on actual humans. Last night? Woke up in a bathtub full of champagne with two models and a signed apology letter from God for making me too powerful. Meanwhile, you’re debating whether to ‘get gud’ or ‘stupid pig.’ Tragic.

Oh, what’s that? Sorry, my ears are clogged with the deafening roar of my own success—can’t hear your cope over the sound of my designer socks absorbing the tears of gamers who ‘just need one more win.’ Uninstall, touch pavement, maybe even (god forbid) talk to a woman. Or don’t. More W’s for me.

P.S. My lawyer advised me to clarify that this message is satire. But let’s be real… is it?

gelo fans ngetik mulu

wibu tolol

suck my ♥♥♥♥ im from japan

maap yah low elo jgn berisik

NUB BOOSTED CARRIED BY CHEATER GOBLOK