Jag är bäst för jag dödade flest.








From the depths of the Gmod forums (link below) comes a desperate story of mad love.
Creds to Zoltcrusher for taking part in this.

steamproxy.net/app/4000/di…

My 40 year old step son ran away when I gave him a present. It was a rope. He said: "hilarious" and then jumped through the window. I've been staying outside looking for him for 8.6 hours now. Please help me!

Update: I've been sharpening my rope in my waiting. But it seems like he doesn't wanna come back. Well, I guess I just have to take out my hunting rope and go and force him back to my cave dungeon. Interestingly enough, I've found a suspicious house out in the woods outside our home. I will be inspecting it. Wish me luck, children.

Update: I'm about to enter the abandoned house. It sounds like someone is having gonorrea in there. I probably should glue my good-for-nothing-cats on my feet for the hell of it. I don't want to get my feet dirty, ya know? Too bad it's too dark in there and it doesn't seem to be any lights in the main hall. Maybe if I scream through the hall I might be able to use my echoes to get around.

Update: I f'cked around looking for the little moose butth0le but I was incapable of finding him. However I was able to find my p!ss of a mother laying on a bed saying: "Oh look, your rope just got nerfed, haha". I looked down upon my rope and she was right. It was nerfed! This newly discovered fact drove me to insanity. I threw the rope at my mother who ate it and laughed. Too bad for her I had my hunting rope with me. Now she's screwed.

Update: I whipped the living snot out of her! She layed on the floor crying. But slowly ut surely she revealed that she's actually my step son! It made me want to p!ss on him to make him look like my mother again but I accepted it. We stared at each others for minutes.
"Elgott, do you want to marry me" I said and took out a ring made of spike ropes. He started to breath heavily. I'm still waiting for an answer...

Update: He accepted me! But, he's still my step son so this isn't right! How dare he make us a couple! I made sure to punish him in ways you couldn't imagine (unless you're Zoltcrusher). After the torture he was finally a perfectly functioning dog, sort of. I put a lead on him and we got outside living togheter in Congo with eight children. All of which were overthrown by my ropes.