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Showing 1-10 of 57 entries
25 people found this review helpful
4 people found this review funny
56.6 hrs on record (0.7 hrs at review time)
Not all heroes wear capes, some of them wear white tank shirt from Binco.


Rockstar outsourced and destroyed my favorite childhood game. I know how terrible it is but still had to buy it.
Posted 20 January, 2023.
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No one has rated this review as helpful yet
18.4 hrs on record
Serious Sam 4 has some Serious Unoptimization. The cutscenes in this game look like something out of a bad Gmod animation. The story is the definition of the word dull which makes the price be way too expensive for something that plays like an aim trainer. Graphics are nice but the world models, weapons sounds and everything else feels cheap and amateur. SS4 consists of the same old backpedaling and shoot, you expect something different in a new game like this, but you're only forced to take cover when an Arachnoid spawns. Completing this game is simply... unfulfilling. I love giving a terrible game a negative review but here I had hopes for something, anything. Yes, I did have fun with it in parts, but it's just not what I expected. Sam deserved better than this.
Posted 30 July, 2022.
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No one has rated this review as helpful yet
8.3 hrs on record
Early Access Review
As generic as a "racing" game can be, even the title itself is bland, I had to Google "retrowave GAME" to find more information about it. I just don't think this game is any fun. Who thought it would be a good idea to make a racing game where you race in a straight line?

- All levels and cars are already unlocked so there isn't any sense of progression. The only way of buying these cars is grinding only 4 different modes.
- The difficulty setting 'Peaceful' removes pretty much the only point of the game which is dodging traffic cars.
- Only 4 different simplistic engine sounds. Exhaust backfires sound like a bucket falling down a set of stairs and the Cybertruck sounds like someone emptying a balloon of air.
- Weird selection of colors to paint your car in, there's not even the color yellow! Bright pink, lime green, pitch black and white (which is actually just grey) for example.

• The selection of cars is nice, same goes for some of the music (contains some songs by HOME) but just like the cars I doubt they are even licensed.

You would get the same experience by getting an animated desktop background with a retrowave car and pretend you're playing. I can't imagine anyone seriously buying this unless they're an absolute casual gamer desperate for anything retro.
Posted 18 February, 2022.
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9 people found this review helpful
5.9 hrs on record
• Very detailed pixel art with a great choice of colors that help build the atmosphere of every scene.
• Interesting plot that's rich in details. You never know what's gonna happen next and that keeps you on your toes. Maybe I'm biased because I just really like games taking place during WW2.
• Schmidt's contagious HA HA.
• Personally I liked the gun play, it's something different and I wish there were more combat segments. Would've been a way of making the game longer without being the main focus.
• Great audio design especially for a game like this. From simple effects such as the sound Krakovitz makes when there's a lost soul nearby, to the blasty sounding firearms.

- Few of the solutions make no sense. Having to gather piss from a character you have seen three chapters ago, using a bottle you find in a random bathroom at the other side of the city just makes no sense.
- The terrible way the developers inserted themselves into the game just leaves a bad taste in the player's mouth. Because it's not a little side easter egg, it's the main way of proceeding in the game.
- Short duration. Maybe because it's an indie game but I expected more, and it pained me to know I was already in the final chapter.

I never thought I would enjoy a game like Nine Witches since it's just a glorified point and click. But from playing the free Prologue months ago and the full game now I can see it's well worth the price.
Posted 30 January, 2022.
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31 people found this review helpful
12.1 hrs on record (10.8 hrs at review time)
This is a game that makes me glad everything is digital and we don't have to rely on hard copies anymore, otherwise, an indie title like this would be lost to time. The pixel art was made with so much care and talent, even map scenery you only get to see for a couple of seconds was given attention to detail. And that's not even mentioning the superb soundtrack. One bad thing is that I felt the dialogue with minor characters was generic at best. But the ending and the culmination of everything you've done, the moment the boy takes off his hat... it's been years since a game almost made me cry or feel this emotional. Laura made something truly beautiful here and it deserves to go down in history being remembered as this well crafted RPG.
Posted 18 December, 2021.
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9 people found this review helpful
4 people found this review funny
41.5 hrs on record
You used to open a Need for Speed and get blasted with Nine Thou and listen to the jam that is Riders On The Storm. This one here makes you listen 50% of the time to soundcloud rappers that will never get to see the light of day and become relevant. Mediocre story and narration that I just couldn't get invested into, and Mass Effect Andromeda level of facial expressions. Customization is better than many of the previous years, considering that on Hot Pursuit or Rivals for example you could only change the car colors. But the implementation of a slot machine to get performance upgrades just makes me shake my head in disappointment. The sound effects are nice, not realistic but good sounding, I kept coming back to hear some powerful engines. Considering the fun factor, some races are repetitive not utilizing the large map to its fullest. Some activities are painful and completing them gives off a relief, and that's one of the good things about the game. Payback isn't a good Need for Speed, but isn't on the wrong way to becoming one either.
Posted 29 March, 2021.
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22 people found this review helpful
30.5 hrs on record
I came into this game expecting to be downing hordes after hordes of zombies, but what I got instead didn't disappoint me. Can't praise the puzzles of this game enough, plus the map structure is so dang good. Everything is connected, when you solve a puzzle in a single room you don't need to circuit the whole map to go to the next area. Unlike other horror games, Resident Evil 1 spooks you without even trying. Some of the ambient songs are eerie and disturbing just makes me feel uneasy and I love it, really sets up the mood. I still get scared by this game, even on my third or fourth playthrough! The plot is great too, you can't help but root for Chris and Jill. The camera shows to be quite inconvenient sometimes with awkward and hard to see angles, but instead of being a futher annoyance, it adds another degree of difficulty. I will always have good memories of this game, from the inovative puzzles to the charming save room music.
Posted 14 January, 2021.
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86 people found this review helpful
26 people found this review funny
2
2
3
4.0 hrs on record (1.2 hrs at review time)
Hands down, the most disgusting and repulsive hentai game I have ever played in my entire life. Reading the reviews, everyone just complained about the frequent peeing on the sex scenes. I thought it wouldn't be a problem for me since I have played eroges with gore and cannibalism, but I was wrong. Almost all the sex scenes include peeing along with the girls squirting blood. The piss, blood and semen get mixed forming a stomach-turning orange liquid. I had to stop playing for several minutes because I just felt like puking, can't take it. Garbage character development and 3rd grade
level dialogue. The plot conflict literally happens because some kind of seal was broken, reason why as one of the characters puts it, "... for some reason ...". I don't want to remember that this game exists after I am done with it, because if I do I will never be able to have a proper meal again since I'll just want to vomit.
Posted 2 January, 2021.
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7 people found this review helpful
3 people found this review funny
4.5 hrs on record (0.3 hrs at review time)
This game is a 60 year old car engine running on cooking oil and held together by duct tape. And I just showed up for a test drive because it has achievements. Buggy, laggy, clunky, and let me tell you; it's hard to get turned on by this game. Pathetic job done by the voice actress with barely few instructions. You have no idea what you have to do, mixing in the fact you can barely customize the girl's body. There is better and hotter JOI content on the CornHub, and most importantly: it's free. Don't buy this game to yourself not even as a joke, it's unplayable.
Posted 2 January, 2021.
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5 people found this review helpful
3.7 hrs on record (1.2 hrs at review time)
For some reason this game just feels so cozy and right at home, if you got futas living in your home, that is. If a game has a repulsive soundtrack it can completely turn me off from it, however the music here fits so perfectly and gives off such a blissful feeling. The animations are top notch and the voice acting is good enough to not be cringey or over the top. The only downside is that sometimes the voices cut off or don't match the dialogue, but it's something easy to shrug off and move on. Everything is so well drawn and proporcional that makes me want to never blink or look away from the screen. Just a well put together visual novel, but it is already one of the best eroge games I've played all year. Highly recommend it!
Posted 24 December, 2020. Last edited 24 December, 2020.
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Showing 1-10 of 57 entries