65 people found this review helpful
1 person found this review funny
Recommended
0.0 hrs last two weeks / 17.8 hrs on record (17.6 hrs at review time)
Posted: 20 Feb, 2014 @ 1:27am
Updated: 5 Mar, 2014 @ 8:30am

Early Access Review
Hey kids! Are you a kind and decent fellow who looks after their fellow man? Who wants to focus on surviving a zombie apocolypse and and meet new people in exciting scenarios? Well GET THE F*** OUT! THIS AINT YO MAMA'S SURVIVAL SIMULATOR! This is a bonefide, 100% guaranteed a***hole trainer! Sick of eating dinner with the family? DayZ teaches you how to eat all the dinner. BY KILLING THE VERY PEOPLE WHO MADE IT FOR YOU! That's right. This game will teach you to be a heartless, souless murderer with a distain for humanity. And the best bit? No human interaction is necessary! This game will teach you survival skills such as punching random strangers with your fist, camping in buildings with high caliber weapons and shooting people with nothing of value, and our favourite, blowing the face off a fellow survivor who asks if he can help you! You don't even need to worry about the consequences! Dayz is a survival game, so if anyone questions your actions, just say you're surviving. Just say you're pre-emptively defending yourself. Just say it's a wolf eat sheep world out there and damn hell! You're an a***hole in wolfs clothing! The goodwill of humanity can go blow you! After a few weeks you will become a guarranteed a***hole. Even in real life! Kick your dog while it's sleeping on the floor that's preventing you from surviving and accessing your kitchen! Punch strangers in the street and take their stuff! Is your sister asking if you want something from the shops? Bludgeon her with the table leg when she gets back and take all of her stuff! I did. And I don't look back on it at all. I am writting this from prison!
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6 Comments
Rangikusan 7 Sep, 2014 @ 4:26pm 
sold
ashen salt 1 Aug, 2014 @ 8:28am 
well you sold me on buying it
WalrusAssassin 25 Apr, 2014 @ 11:34pm 
Couldnt describe the game any better.
Mouse Eyes Nick 26 Feb, 2014 @ 8:59pm 
Thug life.
Inmate" why you in here for"
you" beat my sister up with a table leg."
Inmate"damn" *walk away as far as possible*
Darklus 25 Feb, 2014 @ 11:38am 
10/10, would read again
Big Trader 20 Feb, 2014 @ 11:39am 
BEST
REVIEW
EVAAAR!