He once kicked a kettlebell clean through a door,
Just proving his calves weren’t just there to be lore.
And when asked why he cobbled while jacked as can be,
He grinned, “It’s my sole purpose—do you heel me?”

So here’s to Vinthian, shoemaker, lifter,
Stronger than coffee and two shades swifter.
If your Nikes are torn or your boots just gave in,
Go find the strong man with the stitching pin grin.

Just don’t arm wrestle—he’ll crush your poor hand,
Then fix up your sneakers while doing a handstand. 😎👞💪

There once was a man called Vinthian Vance,
Whose muscles could rip through his tailoring pants.
By day he’d fix boots with a hammer and stitch,
By night he'd lift weights like a swole little witch.

He’d bench press his anvil and squat with his tools,
While flexing in mirrors and breaking gym rules.
He deadlifted soles, heel to toe in a line—
The only guy curling a shoe size nine.

“Call me the buff boot-whisperer,” he’d boast,
As he glued down some leather and made him some toast.
He fixed up a slipper with mighty bravado,
Then curled it six times like a suede avocado.

His dumbbells? Two boots filled with iron and shame.
His protein? The glue (which might explain the fame).
He flexed at the market—“These laces are tight,
But not as tight as my glutes in this light!”

at safari park
yesterday
with kai.

a nonkey
has stole
my back window wiper

cheeky
monkey.

Unequivocally our love was fate.
I fell in love with you at first sight. I remember coz I was as high as a kite.
Those beautiful eyes, made me shiver.
I’m not gonna lie, I think of you, I dream of you. Can’t help thinking, pulling you was my greatest ever coo.
That stomach, those abs, those pictures you sent.
So I can keep tabs on you, makes me feel funny down there. Especially when you are there and you look up and stare.
I’m beginning to think you are always right. That’s okay it will keep us tight
I’m gonna end by saying you are my love, my friend, my soul.
And most of all you believe in me. Which makes me feel as hard as a totem pole.
Xxxxxxxx

In a world where cats had an extraordinary knack for summoning wheat, their feline powers would truly be "purr-magical"! Picture this whisker-worthy scene: with a flick of their tail and a swish of their paws, these talented kitties could whisk wheat into existence, leaving everyone in awe of their "meow-gical" prowess. They might perform a whisker-spell, cleverly combining purrchantments and paw magic to make wheat sprout up like magic beans. These talented felines would truly be the "wheat-wizards" of their world, conjuring golden fields with a purr-fect blend of whimsy and charm. Their legendary rituals and telekitty-kinetic powers would leave no room for doubt - when it comes to wheat-summoning, cats would truly be the cream of the crop!

it aint gay if you say your grandad's name at climax