Recent reviews by Swiggies

david david david... oh how you make me feel things. i (dwight) just can't help but look at your shiny muscles as we clean the generators to make them run smoothly so the masked guy can let us leave his playground :3

my glasses fog up at the sight of you. my fedora feels lighter and my pants tighter. oh david please won't you notice me. i know im the nerdy guy but please. your moustache would feel so nice against my testicles (balls). i crave you carnally (and without the c and r if you catch my drift lol)

love dwight (or d-wizzle to you)

this game is incredible. it reminds me of the time me and my friend aiden went on a road trip to the local restaurant esatlishement (maacadonalds) where we ordered nuggets. on the drive home we locked eye (uber driver) (me and aiden locked eyes) and i slowly reached down and took one of his bnuggets and eated it when he was still looking. he didnt say anything about it and then we played the latest call of duty (black ops 1) all night and didnt really say anything to each other

anyway this game has a very similar premise with lots of hormo sexyuakl tension with the main characters and cup noodles i highly reckymend this one 👍💯

the sims 4 is a really cool game. u can live the life you've always wanted virtualy like i've always wanted 2 catfish guys but with my real face bc im hot as ♥♥♥♥ and lure them to my house n kill them then steal their wife adn that's exactly what i did

now mortimer goth keeps texting and calling me all day from the grave because he misses my ♥♥♥♥♥ so bad like sorry hunty im married to your wife now

there was one good joke that made me "fall out" of my chair. haha!

this game gave me an irrational hatred of bald people. i have been convicted of multiple counts of assault and battery against bald people becuase i just can't stand them anymore. i see them in the street and think "you're going to just leave me as soon as you go down aren't you" and then just beat them up. the therapists said i have something called "baldophobia" and it's uncurable. good game otherwise

This is my favourite game of all time to RP in. It sets up an incredible universe full of possibilities to create an OC with. I really like to RP in character so this was really good for me.

My adventure started off with me creating a bald man (like me IRL, thanks Amazon for including this!) and then doing the prologue. Soon after finishing it I went to the first town. What a place! I immediately found another player and said "where is the Ark. I lost it". We then partied up to try and find the Ark together since we BOTH lost it!

After an hour or two of exploring the town and interacting with other people my RP friend suggested that maybe the Ark is inside us! What a twist! My new friend suggested we try and get it out my connected our mouths and interlocking our tongues to try and get it out of each other. I was a bit hesitant at first but they made me feel very comfortable by finding us a private spot in the tavern away from other players. We tried this for about 20 minutes to no avail. He then suggested that I take my pants off and maybe he could use his magic staff to get it out of me. He was a sorcerer after all so he must have known what he was doing. He used his staff for a while and (to my surprise) I enjoyed the experience.

We didn't end up finding the Lost Ark but I found a new friend! He did leave right after everything and I think he accidentally removed me from his friends list but I will forever remember our RP experience together :) If you're reading this xXMagicxManXx please re-add me!

resident evil 2? more like i wish leon would be a resident in my house with me and do "evil" things to me while im tied to the bed lol (more than 2 times)

well what can i say? i was fully engrossed from the very moment i pressed start. let me set the scene:

my room was dark. the only thing illuminating my surroundings was my sextouple monitor setup. my lady dimitrescu nsfw fanart on all monitors but my gaming one (240hz 1440p btw lol not that it matters just wanted to share). anyway, first thing i saw was chris because i was too busy looking at something else during all the "gameplay" (lol). but then it hit me, i've had a really big crush on this man since the first time i played resident evil 4. except i think he looked better with the longer hair. since then i have installed the big boner chris mod and just keep replaying that first cutscene with him in it where he touches me. it's crazy how well it's animated because if i close my eyes and just... listen... it's like i can feel him touching me with his boner grazing my legs. i can't really comment on the gameplay too much though.

anyway, the first few hours of this game are pure bliss, couldn't recommend more.

pretty fun when you have the big dong mod

looking for more vikings to chop trees and kiss on the mouth or whatever vikings do