Recent reviews by Happy Gilmore

Its the most fun you're going to have on steam for free today.

FIX THE ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ONLINE CONNECTIONS. Only in this game is it such a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ dice roll whether or not you will stay connected to a server.

Relaxing they said, good for anxiety they said... and it was, right up until I walked into the wrong one of those zoomy pipes. Tomb Raider and Mario 64 gave me a massive phobia of going underwater in video games because you never know wtf video game devs decided to put in there.

Being surrounded by ocean had been mildly triggering me my whole 10 minute session but I could power through that believing the game would always require me to avoid falling in and would probably respawn me on the last red thing I touched if I fell in.

So I approach this pipe, its bending down into the ocean - I'm immediately alarmed. However directly across a small gap the pipe bends back up out of the water..."oh okay, it just goes under the surface a bit and pops me up on that rock."

I prepare myself mentally to face my fear in a mild, controlled manner... a 1 second zip just under the surface safe in my glass tube... and I walk in.

I zoom around the bend expecting the second turn when I'm DUMPED OUT OF THE FILTY LYING TUBE INTO THE OPEN OCEAN! Suddenly I'm drowning in my chair!, I can feel the Shark from Tomb Raider, the thing from Mario and the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ Kraken powering through the water to drag me into the blackness. This all happens in half a second that felt like a minute.

I start spasming and flailing madly at my keyboard, desperately trying to make it understand that my left hand violently smashing into as many keys at once as it can means "Alt + F4 plz plz plz".

I give up trying to pull off a complex combo like alt F4 and decide to just slam the escape button hoping this is one of those programs that can be closed that way. It's a pause screen, the game is still playing behind it, THE KRAKEN STILL COMETH.

After mashing the keyboard some more I hit the power button on my monitor so I could alt + F4 properly.

10/10 - the laugh I had at myself after all of this was worth the $1 easily.

Worth the price regardless of sales. 10 years old but the anniversary edition polished a game that was still replayable 10 years later.
Still the best of the "diablo-like" games I have ever played.
Buy the game.

This is still the pinnacle of the Call of Duty series, let down only by matchmaking.
I would sacrifice many fat goats to the mighty Gaben if the Australian community would thrive again.

Buy this game and play it instead of any of the new yearly money pits.

Used to have a proper positive review and recent updates have really sent the game up ♥♥♥♥ creek.

New XP system has divided the community and waves of people are quitting as the game is pretty much geared towards no lifers now.

Don't bother buying if you have a job or go to school. The grind before it becomes fun is too real.

This is tied for the best CoD game with Modern Warfare 2. MW2 has better MP progression with more ways to gain experience and more weapon options, but this game is tied for first because it has dedicated servers. Good old CoD without the gimmicks or the constant new money sinks.