Yes, greetings and salutations, citizens, and welcome to the profile tour!

I am Spoon Boy, totally awesome and legit superhero. You know, the guy you hear about on the news all the time! What do you mean you don't hear -- well then you're watching the wrong stations! I don't know! Maybe I'm too cool for the news! Did you ever think of THAT? HMM?!

Ah, what's that? What I do here? I see. Yes. Well, I, uh, you know. I do the gaming thing. With the games. That I have. Here. The ones that suffer my spoony wrath most will vary, and you'll just have to look at the handy "what's this guy been playing recently" later in the tour to see what I've been doing.

If I've not been gaming recently then it's very likely there's some important heroing to do, and criminal scum are my game! Sorry, kids! Crime fighting is a full time gig! ...Well, no. No, it doesn't pay the bills. It's sort of a mix, you do need a job too -- stop asking questions.

Focus, people. We've got 10 more stops on the tour and I really need a Dr. Pepper and a backrub from my alien fish wife. No we are not answering questions about the fish wife. Please remain quiet until the tour completes and for godsake STOP TOUCHING THE DISPLAYS. *smacks hand*

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Also, after you've spent some time (money) in the gift shop, feel free to check out these: