Recent reviews by Dr. Reality

Wait a second, I was supposed to be romantically interested in Emily? Tell the woman to get her own life, I got Freshmen to bang.

This is how fedoa-tippers actually think human interaction works.

Game ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ crashes when I try to pull up the server list.
9/11

This game is just another entry in the single game Bethesda releases that they reskin. This time around, they let a different production company reskin Oblivion, and they gave it brand new, innovative features! Features such as dialogue stuttering, multiple renders of the same character, and hard crashes every 20 minutes. Truly a unique experience.

The trailer is quite misleading. It portrays a noir-like setting with mafia undertones, harkening to films such as Casino, and The Godfather II. This theme is nothing like the game itself, which opted for the much lazier half-finished cowboy routine. This is largely because their are so few new assets to this title, it would be better suited as DLC for Fallout 3.

As shallow as its predecessor, this game touts an open world where you are pigeonholed into narrow and obtuse quests that makes no use of it. Many design oversights make the fact that nobody cared about this game during development clear, so why should you care?

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If you have feedback to give on this, please do use the comment field. However if you have nothing of significance to add to the discussion, I will delete it for clarity's sake alone. This is not an act of censorship, but a means to prompt meaningful dialogue.

This is one of the few games I am actually mad I own. This title has absolutely nothing going for it outside of the art direction. Bland platforming, simplistic puzzles, and an absurdly scant three hours of content for a ridiculous price of $9.99.

Their is nothing offensively bad about the gameplay other than it's a very slow paced game, which generally speaking makes the platforming feel tedious and lacking purpose. It does what little it's expected to do competently.

I'm not one to really give much thought to music while playing, so two things stand out in this title, the music is staggeringly uninteresting, but the music engineering is quite good. I feel like they're putting perfume on a pig at this point, dressing up something that has no business being given a second look.

Now a game like this is most heavily focused on story, leaving every aspect of it being an actual game on the wayside. This is unfortunate because the story is nothing short of awful. The writer clearly has his head up his own ass as the story is much, much more shallow than the reviews will have you believe. The big "twist" at the end is uninspired and unsatisfying. I had thought I was entering the second act of the game where challenge is introduced, but it just ends in an abrupt and jarring fashion.

The metaphor the game is so keen on skirting around is obvious from the second screen. Because I am going to suggest you pass on it, I'll just tell you. You are an insect. A small, insignificant insect, and the game tries to give you this oppressing, helpless feeling throughout it, but fails because in a platfomer this one dimensional, you are always in control of the situation. The art direction attempt this, and while interesting, fails miserably.

I cannot suggest this at the $10 it is currently being asked for, I cannot suggest this at the $5 sale price. A game this obscenely short and shallow should be no more than $3.

This game is called Amnesia because they forgot they were supposed to be making a horror game. It's an adventure game with a terminal case of stupid.

You get to play as Gaben Freemant, some guy that doesn't talk much. The game is a first person shooter where you go from point here, to point over there and fullfill your vaguely outlined destiny to be the most hardcore space marine in the world.
Save your money for something cool, like Peggle.

The online community is shot to hell, and the game is centered around it, plus zero developer support... So, yeah, there's that.

Max Payne decided to stop being a gritty, dark, and depressing guy and turned his life around. Now he's swigging alcohol with beautiful women and having a party! But that all comes to an end when a bunch of nerds turn him into a space marine. Now he has to regenerate health, and use cover based shooting to fight his way to Hyman Roth's penthouse where he will celebrate his birthday and (maybe) try to assassinate him.

this isnt a game i cant even jump! NICE GOING NINTENMDO!
didnt they TEST this game before they released it?????

Mario the plumber gets into trouble once again when he crashes into the ocean. Instead of jumping on platforms though, he has to get a wrench and put his plumbing skills to the test. I don't really know what happens after that, I got too spooked to finish.